• Jack Bauer’s poker face is so good he once won a game of poker with Monopoly money and an eight card from Uno.
• Jack Bauer can divide by zero.
• Jack Bauer was never addicted to heroin. Heroin was addicted to Jack Bauer.
• Jack Bauer is the super secret ending boss of every video game ever created. When you unlock the fight against him, he explodes out of the screen and cuts out your eyes. All counter-measures are ineffective.
• Hurricane Katrina happened because Jack Bauer took a dislike to Jazz.

• If Jack Bauer was in a room with Hitler, Bin Laden and Nina Myers with a gun and two bullets; he’d shoot Nina Myers twice.
• The War In Iraq will end when Jack Bauer vacations there.

• Jack Bauer can win a game of Connect 4 in 3 moves.
• Jack Bauer doesn’t need to speak a foreign language, torture sounds the same in every language.
• Jack Bauer doesn’t need to search the internet, he just shouts at the computer until it gives him the information he needs.
• Kiefer Sutherland drinks to forget the terrible things Jack Bauer has done.

Jack Bauer would definately beat John McClain but it would be a long drawn out affair, John would take a lot of punishment. Jack would have empty his clip into John and then start beating him too, and John would be taunting Jack with obscenities throughout his protracted death.