leytonjay.co.uk

leyton_jay’s Tweets For Week Ending 2010-04-03

Leyton — Sat, 03 Apr 2010 21:50:00 +0000

Brand New South Park with Jamie Oliver is on Comedy Central +1 at 11.30. #southpark #
I've watched documentaries all day, it's been awesome. Horrors (deaths/accidents) of The Moon Landings, The Nazca Lines, How Life Began. #
Guy on CreditExpert.com ad has ice from Sea of Tranquility in his drink. Ironic that a Credit Expert wastes money like that. #
Has anyone seen Clash of The Titans in 3D yet? I hope its as epic as it looks. #clashofthetitans #
Didnt wear my Clone Trooper outfit to Star Wars Night @ Octopus but had great night with Gemma, Tom @twistedwhistler @waynetron @mooncushion #
"Religion is the ONLY thing that stops the poor killing the rich." – Napoleon rt @waynetron @mooncushion @scott014 @philhd #
"Do not pray for easy lives. Pray to be stronger Man" – JFK #
Last time in The Octopus Bar a bird got her nipple out for me to look at. Quite why, I don't recall. Perhaps I'd lied & said I was a Doctor? #
@twistedlilkitty Yeah, everyone whose cool has 2mrw off. Don't you? #
My working week is over; let's get hammered! #
I saw a link to THURSDAY OF THE DEAD. Sounds like an awesome horror movie, sadly it's just a Muslim/Christian feast day http://bit.ly/cRqS79 #
This week I have mostly been crushing piglets to death in a old-school Victorian printing press. #
@carolinemytton My Easter will consist of recovering from tonight's adventures at The Octopus Bar and seeing CLASH OF THE TITANS in 3D! in reply to carolinemytton #
"You don't know where you stand; until you know that you won't run away!" – SlipKnot #
I liked a YouTube video — Introducing Google Translate for Animals http://youtu.be/3I24bSteJpw?a #
RIP Nandos is trending on twitter. An April Fool but I wish it was true. Nandos doesnt impress me! Whats so amazing about chicken+sauce? #
Scientists find cure for Sleeping Sickness, disease spread by Tsetse Fly that causes confusion and death http://bit.ly/cq9mtf @rentokil #
Burying last night's dead prostitutes is a bad way to start your day. #
@abbiedays Hang on, are you implying Mr Kipling has a tiny cock? Oh well, at least he's exceedingly good in kitchen if not the bedroom. #
Well done guys! I hear THE THICK OF IT is back for 8 more episode regardless of the Election result @rebeccafront @aiannucci @mrchrisaddison #
The Thick of It recommissioned by the BBC, 8 more episodes irrespective of election result http://bit.ly/dyh8CU @thatkevin @twistedlilkitty #
The Thick of It recommissioned by the BBC, 8 more episodes irrespective of election result http://bit.ly/dyh8CU #thethickofit @comagirlx #
http://twitpic.com/1c5wbn – Whoa FRANKEN-FRUIT! Check out the Pineberry! It looks like a white strawberry but tastes like a pineapple! WTF? #
Magnets can change people's moral judgements by disrupting a specific area of the brain involved in reasoning http://bit.ly/bywApU #
Sony to disable PlayStation 3 operating system feature to prevent piracy http://bit.ly/bmdhGW #ps3 #
Toads can predict earthquakes day in advance! http://bit.ly/95gooO @rentokil #iyb #
Whose up for drinks in town on THURSDAY NIGHT? End up in the Octopus Bar? #
@abbiedays Stupid O'clock, like it. In our house we call it "staying up 'til Silly Buggers" #
Watching Alien³ #
DJ has been putting chillies in his eyes again! There is much screaming! #
Everyone give it up to @PhysicsAtSussex! They were involved in today's operations at LHC which is now operating at 7 Trillion electronVolts #
I've rated a YouTube video(3 out of 5 stars) — Scarface School Play http://youtu.be/uovMpapeCJQ?a #
Who is Kat Stacks? Never heard of her. #
Yeay! It's Neurosis Week! http://www.nataliedee.com/031510 #NatalieDee #
I've favourited a YouTube video — Large Hadron Rap http://youtu.be/j50ZssEojtM?a #
Hey CERN! #youmightwannastop Hadron Collider at 7TeV, my fillings are being pulled towards Switzerland. Mucho magnetics! @profbriancox @cern #
I've rated a YouTube video(4 out of 5 stars) — Wonders of The Solar System – spoof http://youtu.be/fhn8j7S4uKU?a #
@Clurrrrrrrrr Who are you looking forward to seeing at Reading? I hear Pete Drug-End and the Libertines re-formed, glad to be missing them. in reply to Clurrrrrrrrr #
"Say whaaaaaat?" #familyguy #bbcthree #
Anyone need any fictional drugs? Klarky-Kat or Triple-Sod? Yellow Bentines? Fancy getting a bit bluety? #brasseye @scott014 @markeverclear #
Ok… so who is going to READING FESTIVAL? Whose got tickets? What bands are you excited about? @officialrandl #reading #readingfestival #
If you hate the lies, bigotry and scare-mongering of THE DAILY MAIL, you'll love this little song! http://bit.ly/9XWiDM #
M-Cat Dealer who earns £10,000 a week talks to The Telegraph about the effects and why he deals in Mephedrone http://bit.ly/abc5vT #
M-Cat Dealer who earns £10,000 a week talks to The Telegraph about the effects and why he deals in Mephedrone http://bit.ly/abc5vT #
Ergh! Fancy being bitten by The Kissing Bug? I don't recommend it! Article:http://bit.ly/cuB3qA Bite Photos:http://bit.ly/aacq7n @rentokil #
I knew that gun wasn't real! Who the fuck carrier a gun in a paper bag. Phil Mitchell isn't scared of a lie in a bag. #eastenders @comagirlx #
Whoa! That mental woman went Hulk when the egg timer went off! #eastenders @comagirlx #
Ugandan Phone Scam – Fonejacker Soundboard! – http://bit.ly/djROLl -George Agdgdgwngo #
Ask me anything! > http://www.formspring.me/leytonjay #
Fonejacker Soundboard – Dufrais Constantinople http://bit.ly/c4hd7u #fonejacker #
Happy National Cask Ale Week. Cheers everyone. http://bit.ly/989sGO @caskaleweek #
Terry Tibbs – Fonejacker Soundboard http://bit.ly/cLqIsy #fonejacker #
BBC gets access to GCHQ; the Government agency that reads your emails/txts & listens to your calls! http://bit.ly/dA2pcr @scott014 @philhd #
http://twitpic.com/1brgg3 – I think the BBC need to get their priorities right when it comes to News reporting! #
Filth's Reading Festival 2008 – BUTT SCRATCHER!!!! http://youtu.be/nOfQoq45UAs #
I've rated a YouTube video(5 out of 5 stars) — The Daily Mail Song http://youtu.be/5eBT6OSr1TI?a #
Q:Will you learn by last years thing you would change???… A:Probably not. http://formspring.me/leytonjay/q/369679881 #
If you hate the lies, bigotry and scare-mongering of THE DAILY MAIL, you'll love this little song! http://bit.ly/9XWiDM #
Q:If you could change one thing that happened… A:I would've wasted less money in the summer … http://formspring.me/leytonjay/q/369623008 #
M-Cat Dealer who earns £10,000 a week talks to The Telegraph about the effects and why he deals http://bit.ly/abc5vT #mephedrone #
@abbiedays ZombieAbbieDays is probably a lot prettier & more pleasant than ZombieLeytonJay. I get up 20mins before I fall out the door. in reply to abbiedays #
Ergh! Fancy being bitten by The Kissing Bug? I don't recommend it! Article:http://bit.ly/cuB3qA Bite Photos:http://bit.ly/aacq7n @rentokil #
Here's your chance to ssk me anything!!!! http://formspring.me/leytonjay #
@poshkenneth I know, MySpace is dead. Now I actually chuckle slightly when people say it's name. Like it's an embarassing social faux pas. in reply to poshkenneth #
@Nannon_yay Hey, thanks for the retweet the other day. Like your profile pic, you look hot! #
George Osborne resembles a "startled otter who's just been slapped in the face with a live salmon". #georgeobsorne #
Is that all George Osborne can come up with? Be very afraid of Tory George and his playschool economics. #ihavenevervotedtory #
Moscow Metro hit by deadly suicide bombings. Russia Today was first on the scene http://bit.ly/aNvuXO @jonno08 @scott014 @philhd @waynetron #
Sadly, because of the cold winter, there will be less tits this year http://bit.ly/dm8UT7 #rspb #iyb #
RT @serafinowicz "Can anyone tell me what Lucasfilm's sound system is called? Thx." @krelleishere #
RT @serafinowicz: God I hate Facebook. It's like having a really shit part-time job. #
@pennyrobinson89 Thanks x. But it's ok, I'm gonna clump the shit together into a raft and a paddle! #
I've NEVER found Jasper Carrot's stand up funny. Am I wrong? Cos everyone seems to like him. The Detectives kinda funny though. #
Sorry Tweeps if I've not been very talkative. I've been drowning in a Nile of Shit @markeverclear @comagirlx @abbiedays @pennyrobinson89 #
Today was all about Carvery. Tonite was all about WONDERS OF THE SOLAR SYSTEM in BBC HD. Awesooome! @mooncushion @twistedwhistler @waynetron #
Our house is giving a Big-Up to Boron tonight. He hooked us right up. Cheers Boron, we salute you. #
rt @waynetron "OMFG 24 mega twist. Fuck." – Yes friends, we have a new Nina Myers. #twentyfour #
"ALL THESE WORLDS ARE YOURS EXCEPT EUROPA. LIVE ON THEM TOGETHER. LIVE ON THEM IN PEACE." – 2010: The Year We Made Contact #
GHOST STORIES at the Lyric Hammersmith http://bit.ly/cBKHRQ #
http://twitpic.com/1bk7lp – OMG! Why have they cut down half of Tilgate Park? It's deforestation on a massive scale! #
8 of us played poker last night, all just gone for a Carvery today, now heading to Tilgate park to waddle around the lake. #
@poshkenneth Answer the phone. It's me <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 #
Just scrambled for TV remote when I realised I'd accidentally allowed TWO AND A HALF MEN to come on! Get off Charlie Sheen! You're an idiot. #
It's all gone BST. #
Watching Newswipe with subtitles and sniggered when I saw the word 'Boob-a-ma-jugs' written down. #newswipe @charltonbrooker #
leyton_jay’s Tweets For Week Ending 2010-03-27: Quick turn to FiveUSA! The skeletons in Jason and The Argonauts ar… http://bit.ly/ctoAXL #

leyton_jay’s Tweets For Week Ending 2010-03-27

Leyton — Sat, 27 Mar 2010 21:50:00 +0000

Quick turn to FiveUSA! The skeletons in Jason and The Argonauts are coming on! #
Bobba Fett's real name is Robert Fetterson. #madeupbullshit #starwars #
I like the new Alton Towers advert on TV. With the girl being grabbed by vines. The ride, Betty or 13 or whatever looks wicked. #
@coolhwip02 Yeah, I'm pretty hungover too. #
Today I was gonna get up at 10am, go to bank, library and gym. In reality DJ threw a coffee at me at 1pm and we've just ordered pizza. #
Walking back to Victoria now after a great night out in London. #
Havin a great time #
Gash In The Attic #sexualgameshows #
A Question of Spurt #sexualgameshows #
Never Mind the Big Cocks #sexualgameshows #
Vibrating Egg-heads #sexualgameshows #
The Penetration Game #sexualgameshows #
Cockbusters #sexualgameshows #
Bargain C*nt #sexualgameshows #
C*ntdown #sexualgameshows #
Wankety Wank #sexualgameshows #
Call My Muff #sexualgameshows #
Total Cockout #sexualgameshows #
@krelleishere Few size zeros actually look like the horror stories the papers show you, most are just skinny petit hotties! #sizezeroishot in reply to krelleishere #
@Bakeroo I can't stand her either but still think she's hot. Katie Price on the otherhand, I loathe AND find physically disgusting! in reply to Bakeroo #
Why do people say Cheryl Cole looks "worryingly thin"? She looks sexily thin! When Louise went to size zero, she looked fitter than ever! #
Official NINJA webpage – this is so funny! "Ninjas are sooooooooooo sweet that I want to crap my pants!" http://bit.ly/cz09zn #ninja #
Cant believe they gave that story to a journalist with that name! http://twitpic.com/1b026c TIMESONLINE #FAIL @comagirlx @waynetron @philhd #
Just chatting to a gorgeous petit Sicilian girl who works at Starbucks Gatwick South. *hot* #
Oooooh! A dramatic video from HAVE I GOT NEWS FOR YOU! http://bit.ly/9hOAPB @realHIGNFY @Herring1967 #
Context FAIL! Cant believe they gave that story to a journalist with the name Roger Boyes! http://twitpic.com/1b026c #
http://twitpic.com/1b026c – Can't believe they gave that story to a journalist with that name! – TIMESONLINE #FAIL #catholic #
Coventry City sign 3yr deal with delivery company City Link who'll become official sponsors next season http://bit.ly/8YZd9J #ccfc #citylink #
Edam is heavily associated with necromancing. Gotta love The Smell of Revees & Mortimer! #
Fuck Bing. Use Google. Microsoft just rebranding their MSN Search #fail so they can sell it off later without embarassment. #
Hey. What're you upto? #
Mmmm, cheese & pickle on a bed of cheese, with a side order of cheese. Nom, nom, nom… #
VIDEO: Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World – 1st Trailer – http://bit.ly/bySqKp #
The Independent newspaper is sold to Russian billionaire Alexander Lebedev, owner of the Evening Standard. http://bit.ly/cLfNZ5 #
Neil Lennon named as Celtic caretaker manager http://bit.ly/99pPfB #RangersFC #
@itsallaboutyouu ThanQ! in reply to itsallaboutyouu #
Good morning tweeps! Apologise for my mood y'day. Ended up in bed at 7.30pm. 12hrs sleep makes the world seen like a much nicer place! x #
Spoof trailer! – Johnny Depp in Burtonland – http://bit.ly/cPGvLQ #alice #aliceinwonderland #bbc #johhnydepp #timburton #
@pennyrobinson89 Cheers babe, well I feel pretty lonely now so it wouldn't be much different. x #
I feel so sad I could burst into tears, but at same time so angry that I could strangle this planet's entire population with my bare hands. #
#itsreallyannoying when you arrange a date, then she stands you up like a worthless piece of shit who doesnt even deserve a cancellation txt #
A quaint but effective site for the hottest new Cat Toy on the block, http://www.plaguerats.co.uk/ <= @rentokil, interesting title, huh? #
Spoof trailer! – Johnny Depp in Burtonland – http://bit.ly/cPGvLQ #alice #aliceinwonderland #bbc #johhnydepp #timburton #
The new SAW ALIVE maze adventure at Thorpe Park – http://bit.ly/bacCOu #
Johnny Depp in Burtonland – A BBC Spoof: Alice in Wonderland is the seventh film by director Tim Burton to feature… http://bit.ly/cI8TsN #
@Bakeroo in reply to Bakeroo #
Good night, twitter and Facebook! See you all again tomorrow. Sleep tight, dont let the bed bugs bite. If they do call @rentokil #
@abbiedays I wish you'd come make me some hot chocolate I fell asleep in a chair before hauling myself upto bed. #
Listening to Mastadon in DJ's car belting down the dual carriageway. It's driving music… if you're driving to Monkey Hell. #
My phone is really starting to let me down on a daily basis now. After 10yrs of Nokia, I'm hungry for a Blackberry. #
http://twitpic.com/1afzvk – The REAL reasons why some people are STILL using Internet Explorer 6. #ie6 #firefox #chrome #safari #
My contribution to the Labour hi-jacking of the Cash Gordon website yesterday http://bit.ly/9BpWic #cashgordon @steviemarshall @darkphnx #
@CHRISDJMOYLES Get me a Cornetto! #anybodywantowtfromtheshop @waynetron in reply to CHRISDJMOYLES #
http://twitpic.com/1aehzi – Good morning! I'm squinting into the sun like tard, but hopefully you can see my nice new shirt. x #
Virgin Media are trying to tell me the new series of MasterChef Australia is unmissable. I beg to differ. #
Watching BOTTOM on Dave. "Neil Kinnock's grand parents were homosexual Martians!" Wonder if the Tories will try to use that? @markeverclear #
Kenny dies in a Batman costume by auto-erotic asphxyation trying to make his orgasm super-awesome! Death by Sexy-Wank! #davidcarradine #
Brand New South Park: The Tiger Woods episode is just starting on Comedy Central +1. Awesome! #southpark #tigerwoods #
Just worked out why they told us who next Doctor Who would be 18months ago. They knew it'd take us that long to get over Tennant. @comagirlx #
Jeremy Kyle's great. Dickhead hard-man and lazy Dad says baby's not his, everyone boos. DNA says it isn't his, Jeremy lays into Slut Mum. #
@ciarahinton You should change it to Space Mountain! That'd be awesome. #
Lords force rethink of government's online piracy plans. The House of Lords finally does something useful! http://bit.ly/cnOAcB #
http://twitpic.com/1a8elm – ALICE IN A BIG PILE OF SHIT – 3D! #
@Scott014 YES in reply to Scott014 #
I have never voted Tory before, but being unemployed sounds fun! #cashgordon #
I really enjoyed WONDERS OF THE SOLAR SYSTEM last night! Earth's Magnetosphere For The Win! Mars Magnetosphere FAIL! #fail #ftw #bbc #
http://twitpic.com/1a871v – Earth's Magnetosphere FTW! Mars Magnetosphere FAIL! #fail #wondersofthesolarsystem #
@Astro_Soichi http://twitpic.com/1a815x – Photo of the Bahamas taken today by astronauts on the International Space Station #
Scotland to get 132-turbine Wind Farm in Kilgallioch Forest near New Luce in Dumfries and Galloway http://bit.ly/bpJgRF #renewableenergy #
I am REALLY impressed by http://www.spareroom.co.uk/ – I've got landlords txting and calling me about spare rooms, not the other way around! #
Scientists at Rentokil's Technical Centre in Horsham are reviewing the Pest Info on our websites today http://ow.ly/1pg40 #
Internet is threat to endangered species. Easy to buy/sell anything from baby lions to polar bears http://bit.ly/9QRPWr #iyb #greenpeace #
@poshkenneth As more people get online, the internet becomes more representative of the world's population; predominantly arseholes. #
@poshkenneth You're totally right. Is something the matter? #
Volcano ash is rocks so small that if you breath it in, it combines with the moisture in your lungs to form a cement. You drown in concrete. #
A woman on 24 was led, blindfolded into a room containing a camera and a chair infront of a huge flag. AKA Decapitation Chamber. #twentyfour #
I think we should all take a moment to say Thank You to the magnetosphere. #WondersofTheSolarSystem #bbc #
Watching Wonders of The Solar System on BBC HD. My jaw dropped when Venus came on. "Venus is a tortured world". Great description! #
Any1 just see Weather Forecast on Channel Five? Bloody awful! Saw back of her head whole time, tiny map was like lookin into crystal ball. #
@dragonjones http://twitpic.com/1a2ez6 – Peter have you got your own brand socks now?! Two votes for no.2, one for no.1 @dragonjones #
@twistedlilkitty Starting to wonder why we dont all sound the same, our phonetics are all the same. I'm well enjoying Space-manji on Five. #
@markeverclear I remember Jumanji at the cinema, it was epic when you're a kid. My Dad loves that movie! #
@twistedlilkitty Oh I see. I'm not sure exactly what the sounds like. A Crawley accent is general Sarf Lundun wiv alota "innit tho" frone in #
I'm watching ZATHURA on Five. It's basically JUMANJI in Space. Space-manji! #
@twistedlilkitty Av yer moved tae Leith in Edinburgh? Oor bin reading too much Irvine Welsh? #
@georns aw, get well soon gorgeous #
rt @comagirlx "http://is.gd/aRLU2 Interesting teasers for Matt Smith's first adventure as The Doctor….very interesting! *SPOILER*" #
RT @comagirlx: http://is.gd/aRM9a Hilarious… #
OMG! Woke up after a nite at The Octopus Bar and still remember it! Tom got ejected. A girl got her nipple out for me; I tried to touch it. #
Anyone fancy going for a Toby Carvery 2mrw? x #
leyton_jay’s Tweets For Week Ending 2010-03-20: When they found Saddam Hussain in the hole, they should've just bu… http://bit.ly/duk9NH #
Heading to Octopus Bar now. #

Johnny Depp in Burtonland – A BBC Spoof

Leyton — Wed, 24 Mar 2010 09:37:43 +0000

Alice in Wonderland is the seventh film by director Tim Burton to feature Johnny Depp. Click to watch a BBC Comedy Extra spoof of the movie’s trailer, which pokes fun at the pair’s now-famous collaboration.

leyton_jay’s Tweets For Week Ending 2010-03-20

Leyton — Sat, 20 Mar 2010 21:50:00 +0000

When they found Saddam Hussain in the hole, they should've just built a prison on top of his hole. Opposite Great Escape. #
@ciarahinton Have a good night! We're out in Crawley. x #
@poshkenneth meet @abbiedays. You're both watching Titanic and you don't know why. #
@herring1967 If you want heckle-free audiences come to our house. We love your work, unlimited Tea and Coffee making facilities. #
I'm going to open my own School like Zoolander. It'll be called "The Leyton Jay School For People Who Like Hair But Don't Have A Lot of It" #
The SPACED INVISIBLE GUN FIGHT in Trafalgar Square earlier today http://bit.ly/bbck02 #space #gunfight @edgarwright #
Great party! Boron demonstrated his hobby, Glass Smashing. After 4th time it was like the room Bruce Willis runs thru barefoot in Die Hard. #
Immortal jellyfish discovered! When it gets old, it turns into a baby again! http://bit.ly/cmwYG4 #iyb @twistedlilkitty @waynetron #
@yoghurteater which Star Trek? in reply to yoghurteater #
From Eddie Izzard: "Thanks to everyone who has donated to SPORT RELIEF. We've raised £1.1 Million so far. Well done to all of you!" #
"There are days I am willing to accept that, with a little work, I could be almost beautiful." rt @lastyearsgirl_ #
@nickjfrost Not at the Spaced Gun Fight in London? in reply to nickjfrost #
@yoghurteater Variety cereals rule! in reply to yoghurteater #
RT @guardiannews: British Airways cabin crew strike begins http://bit.ly/apLG6g #
RT @glinner "Nestle Discovers The Streisand Effect but only after making things worse" http://bit.ly/bbJEcC @carolinemytton @danusia #
http://twitpic.com/19mzc8 – Melon Rage! #
@comagirlx the Keanu reeves school of acting is an empty warehouse with a a chair and clock inside. Turn up every day for 1 week to graduate #
All my party people are giving a big up to my twitter people! @markeverclear @comagirlx #
Oooh ladyboys! My Follow Fridays @markeverclear @pennyrobinson89 @comagirlx @scroobiouspipyo @serafinowicz #ff #followfriday #alanpartridge #
It's the Weedkend! #
http://twitpic.com/19m77i – Let cocktail blending commence! #
http://twitpic.com/19m4lq – Alex unleashes the party melon! #
Party Joke: You can say what you like about about paedophiles, at least they drive slowly outside schools. rt @ Luke O.Neil #
Just had a Chinese with my Web Dev peeps, got 12pints of beer from ASDA, off to a party now! #
Bill Bailey’s beard declared World Heritage Site http://is.gd/aOfzZ #
rt @TwistedWhistler "Disgusted by his own species. I need a human version of Raid bug spray." – Careful that's how Nazi Germany started #
@pennyrobinson89 Upto much this w'end? I got work meal+drink in like 5mins, a party later. 2 different b'day drinks 2mrw. I'm busy for once! in reply to pennyrobinson89 #
@pennyrobinson89 Like most companies over a certain size who own loads of diverse brands, don't give a fuck. Almost as bad as Umbrella corp! in reply to pennyrobinson89 #
@pennyrobinson89 I hear Nestle have been top of World Health Org's List of Unethical Companies for years! Somethin about baby milk in Africa in reply to pennyrobinson89 #
Give the orang-utan a break! Stop Nestle using palm oil from destroyed rainforests http://bit.ly/KitKat #kitkat #nestle #
@pennyrobinson89 Thank you so much for that, that's going on my website at the weekend! Legend. in reply to pennyrobinson89 #
Nestlé, maker of Kit Kat, uses palm oil. This destroys rainforests, livelihoods of local people and pushes orang-utans towards extinction #
Today's Nestle's FAIL Friday http://bit.ly/c3XlAJ http://bit.ly/9HKht7 http://bit.ly/d38cpZ http://bit.ly/9NClvV @danusiaj @carolinemytton #
What does one have to do to deserve this Boob Rubbing? It doesnt sound like a punishment. #
http://twitpic.com/19jszz – Mission Accomplished. @rentokil #
Has been sent Thunderball – BLU-RAY Version: http://LOVEFiLM.com/r/QQiHgA0 #
Has been sent Seven Samurai: http://LOVEFiLM.com/r/QQiNXg #
Bill Bailey’s beard declared World Heritage Site http://is.gd/aOfzZ #
@DownloadFest http://twitpic.com/19i0x2 – Download festival announce more bands! @jonno08 @scot014 @philhd @alexanderstokes #DL2010 #
Camden Crawl Artist Twitter List http://bit.ly/cmuLqy #
Happy Sport Relief! I'm wearing a Fiorentina top, tropical swimshorts and my Iron Maiden Vans to the office today. #sportsrelief #
Happy Sport Relief! I'm wearing a Fiorentina top, tropical swimshorts and my Iron Maiden Vans to the office today. #
Gave Alan Partridge – I'm Alan Partridge – Series 2 5.0 stars: http://LOVEFiLM.com/r/QRCBggc #
@comagirlx Blend your cake up with milk and drink it! Cakey Shakes! #
"Here are your STD test results. I didn't look at them, I didn't want to get my eyes dirty." #americandad #
Mice Crispies #badcereal #
Fruit Poops #badcereal #
Golden (shower) Grahams #badcereal #
Shredded Feet #badcereal #
Porn Flakes #badcereal #
Sugar Poofs #badcereal #
Gran Flakes #badcereal #
Shredded Meat #badcereal #
Paul Morgan has never seen The League of Gentleman. How disgraceful. #
Corrie's Les Battersby actor tried to kill himself+wife in Mercedes http://bit.ly/ajb0mA Must've read a review of his shit acting @comagirlx #
Oh dear, a voice came over the speaker at Gatwick South Terminal asking for a defibrillator. Someone's havin a heart-attack in Starbucks #
@JohnnyLaird It stands for Content Management System 2010. But I have no idea exactly which CMS or why its trending. No links #CMS2010 in reply to JohnnyLaird #
@poshkenneth Mmm, could be quite sickly. But there's a Bacardi Chocolate Cake and a Black Russian Cake that sound ok! http://bit.ly/deItJo in reply to poshkenneth #
rt @mooncushion "Octopus Bar are doing a STAR WARS night on 1st April! Anyone in?" @waynetron @scott014 @philhd @jonno08 @mattyaldy #
rt @poshkenneth "Scorpions have mouthparts called chelicerae, a pair of pedipalps, and four pairs of legs – nice." @rentokil #
Short article by Duncan Bannatyne on tax-loop holes, Lord Ashcroft and James Caan http://bit.ly/b6Cucm @DuncanBannatyne #nondom #tax #
@Twistedlilkitty You drink leftover cereal milk silly! It tastes nice. But when eating cereal at The Ritz, you're supposed to leave it. in reply to Twistedlilkitty #
@poshkenneth Not as bad as me, I was researching alcoholic cakes at 2am this morning. That's bad! in reply to poshkenneth #
@pennyrobinson89 Empire Strikes Back is epic, babe! Darker & grittier than the others. It is to Star Wars wot DS9 was to Star Trek. Awesome. in reply to pennyrobinson89 #
@Coolhwip02 TIP: connect http://bit.ly to ur twitter. It shortens links to fit on twitter. U can tweet on it too, handy if twitters blocked in reply to Coolhwip02 #
RT @Coolhwip02: Reading festival tickets available soon, can't wait. #
Lookin at recipe for Bacardi Rum Cake but it's all in American. What EXACTLY is volume of a cup? What's Yellow Cake Mix? Why's it yellow? #
@pennyrobinson89 http://twitpic.com/197dat – hot! awesomes. x #
Is there such a thing as a cake with alcohol in it? I cant think of any. #
@yoghurteater Yeah farmers have been muck spreading at Gatwick lately. Our Corporate Worldwide Headquarters smell of poo #
@pennyrobinson89 What colour are you going? Post a pic when it's done. Drown yourself in conditioner or your hair will feel like old rope! x #
@yoghurteater It's almost as depressing as actually living in Crawley. I live in Crawley, I am quite depressed today. #
Lorry rams into a car on A1, pushes it along the road overtaking other vehicles and doesn't even notice http://bit.ly/ar0X1G #
"How great that Charlie Brooker's Newswipe won the RTS award!!" rt @jennyfarr #
"Congratulations to @charltonbrooker and the Newswipe team on their well deserved RTS award!" rt @Andiepowpow #
@pennyrobinson89 You changed your profile pic back I like that one best. in reply to pennyrobinson89 #
@pennyrobinson89 They are a simple people. Lard sandwiches and beer being their staple diet, with curly hair as their trademark. xx in reply to pennyrobinson89 #
@pennyrobinson89 I know, the orange, celestial tease! in reply to pennyrobinson89 #
@pennyrobinson89 Of course, its the drink, this is the one day they cannot be frowned upon by the rest of the country. in reply to pennyrobinson89 #
@CassHoskins Ow, you need to get on the Booooooosh! in reply to CassHoskins #
@itsallaboutyouu Drat, I missed Richard Hammonds Invisible Worlds in reply to itsallaboutyouu #
@yoghurteater I knew someone called Spunker once who genuinelly lived in a place called Cockshoot Hill. #rudesurnames #
@CassHoskins Is he the business equivalent of Johhny Two-Hats from Mighty Boosh? "Have you seen anyone wearing three? No. Exactly." in reply to CassHoskins #
Article in Guardian from @daraobriain "The press are trying to mess with World Cup Player's heads?" http://bit.ly/bJPGR0 #
Def need a new, good one then! What u considerin? I not got any. Never found anything I was sure I'd like FOREVER. Like them on others tho! #
Happy St. Patricks Day! Anyone out for a Guiness tonight? #stpatricksday #
@itsallaboutyouu http://twitpic.com/193ldl – Do the Irish have their own Hollywood then? Paddywood? Happy St. Patrick's Day! #stpatricksday #
Happy St. Patricks day to you too Bill. Upto anything cool? @RealBillBailey #
@yoghurteater What tatts have you got? in reply to yoghurteater #
Charlie Brooker's Newswipe won at RTS awards, beating X Factor & BGT! http://bit.ly/blOTN RT if you love #newswipe! @markeverclear @Georns #
BBC4's Newswipe beats BGT & X-Factor at RTS awards! http://bit.ly/blOTNi Well done @charltonbrooker! @comagirlx @abbiedays @pennyrobinson89 #
@scott014 @philhd App tips – http://bit.ly/cUxvFz. Videos from trainees – http://bit.ly/bLQdgb. App form – http://bit.ly/a3umz1 #
City Place stinks of poo today! Mistake to build it across the tracks from Sewage Farm if you ask me. Easterly winds blow the stink over #
Happy St. Patrick's Day Irish peeps and tweeps! @twistedlilkitty @comagirlx @glinner @daraobrien #
You are not special. You are not a beautiful and unique snowflake. You are the same decaying, organic matter as everything else! #FightClub #
"It's only after you've lost everything, that you're free to do anything!" – Tyler Durden, Fight Club #fightclub #
"Self improvement is masturbation. Now, self destruction…" – Tyler Durden, Fight Club #fightclub #
"If I could fight anyone, I'd fight Ghandi." – Tyler Durden, Fight Club #fightclub #
"How much can you know about yourself, if you've never been in a fight?" – Tyler Durden, Fight Club #
"The things you own, end up owning you." – Tyler Durden, Fight Club #fightclub #
"The things you own, end up owning you." – Tyler Durden, Fight Club #
Wow! This is an awesome interactive advert. Turn your sound on & throw the guy about! http://bit.ly/8XluEu #
"I tried watching something about Katie Price, but I felt the bile rising, so I switched to Stephen Fry" rt @yoghurteater #
@alexanderstokes Hows it going? You doing any gigs or festivals this year? #
@yoghurteater The bearded man has nothing to lose. #
Anyone using INTERNET EXPLORER please download GOOGLE CHROME. Its better faster sexier & safer. Dont click the blue e! Pls retweet #
HOW DARE Microsoft advertise InPrivate Browsing mode in Internet Explorer 8! Google Chrome's Incognito mode is oldskool. Fuck you, Gates! #
Lock, Sock, and Two Smoking Bollocks #wankingfilms #
V for Vas Deferens – #wankingfilms #
Alvin and the Dick Spunks – #wankingfilms #
Cock-tale – #wankingfilms #
The Spurt Locker – #wankingfilms #
The Tossed Boys – #wankingfilms #
Three Men And No Baby #wankingfilms #
Curtains Wide Shut – #wankingfilms #
The 40 Year Old Virgin #wankingfilms #
(self) Love Actually – #wankingfilms #
American History KleeneX – #wankingfilms #
Pump Friction – #wankingfilms #
The Hills Have Japs-Eyes – #wankingfilms #
The Jerk – #wankingfilms #
He's Just Not That Into (screwing) You – #wankingfilms #
(spanking) Twelve Monkeys – #wankingfilms #
Masturbater and Commander #familyguy – #wankingfilms #
The Soloist – #wankingfilms #
Onan the Barbarian – #wankingfilms #
Cumdog Millionaire – #wankingfilms #
My (incredibly dexterous) Left Foot – #wankingfilms #
'Avatoss – #wankingfilms #
Bareback Mountain …. oh wait, that's real. – #wankingfilms #
The Italian Hand Job #wankingfilms #
The Sorewank Redemption – #wankingfilms #
@pennyrobinson89 Awesomes! Did you get my advice about that guy you wanted to ask out? in reply to pennyrobinson89 #
Bulletproof Spunk – #wankingfilms #
Beds, Knobs and Broomsticks – #wankingfilms #
Saving Ryan's Privates – #wankingfilms #
The Da Vinci Load – #wankingfilms #
The Sperminator – #wankingfilms #
Schindler's fist – #wankingfilms #
Jizzard of Oz – #wankingfilms #
@comagirlx http://twitpic.com/17xrvt – You've yoinked this off me! Still considering getting this cake for your birthday? #thethickofit #
@comagirlx http://twitpic.com/18ffcv – "What happens to naughty boys, Mr Flibble?" – "Uncle Arnie fries them alive with his HEX vision." #
@comagirlx Bristol dream sounds nicer than real Birmingham. Upon arrival, a fat man fell off a bar stool, farted & that cleared the pub. #
@poshkenneth Don't stop. I found #kitchenutensilbands quite funny. You look hot in your profile pic by the way! x #
Wow! This is an awesome interactive advert. Turn your sound on & throw the guy about! http://bit.ly/8XluEu @carolinemytton @twistedwhistler #
Natalie Cassidy (Sonia, Eastenders) who was thin but still ugly for 1week 2yrs ago… is pregnant. I cant believe that's actually trending! #
I despise Jedward, they are high headed idiots. Everyone, please tweet #wehatejedward to get it trending on twitter. Death to Jedward! #
This is great! It's like Whose Line Is It Anyway…online! http://j.mp/bjUHDb @waynetron @comagirlx @twistedwhistler @markeverclear #
Who on earth is this Justin Bieber idiot I keep hearing about? #
Please god, someone tell me what #smwf means? #
Tourism chiefs in Cumbria encourage people to "tweet" when they spot late-blooming daffodils in Lake District http://bit.ly/dzuqb1 #iyb #
Certain bees in a hive will sing a 'Pied-piper' song that leads the others to swarm http://bit.ly/b5R5fA @rentokil #iyb #
Watching Alien (Director's Cut) in bed. #
@pennyrobinson89 Be direct. We appreciate that. #
Fuck iPad. I have bought 3 iPods and they've all randomly broken and become corrupted. I personally don't view the hardware as high quality. #
I just unfollowed some slightly boring people who I thought would be funny. They are not. They suck. Boo……… Fuckin-boo! #
CRAWLEY PEOPLE – What time for this Beer and Burger at The Jubilee tonight? 9pm? #
I'm going gym tonight then BEER & BURGER at Jubilee. Tom suggested it. Not sure who else is onboard yet. Anyone? ANYONE?! @mooncushion x #
I have unfollowed 4 borin Social Media people. I know they take it very srsly but can't talking about Social Media be fun too? Its so dry. #
reservoir cats #moviesforcats #
#moviesforcats The Collar Purple #
#moviesforcats A tale of two kitties #
To Kill A Mockingbird #moviesforcats #
catching nemo #moviesforcats #
She's All Cat. #moviesforcats #
@Georns No, not often enough. The Octopus Bar free pours everything like on the Continent. So everything is double/triple strength. Deadly. in reply to Georns #
rt @itsallaboutyouu "What the difference between a wolf and a flea? One howls on the prairie and the other prowls on the hairy." @rentokil #
CRAWLEY PEOPLE – What time for this Beer and Burger at The Jubilee tonight? 9pm? #
@Georns Got anymore pics of you, babe? How was your weekend? Mine was messy. The Octopus Bar steals your memories in exchange for alcohol. in reply to Georns #
@AIannucci You might get younger and become a fetus, like Benjamin Button. So in few years we can look forward to Fri Night Armistice again! in reply to AIannucci #
Its a lovely day today, I forgot to thank the cutest deity that ever there was, The Flying Spaghetti Monster http://bit.ly/cnAKEi @waynetron #
Is St. Patrick's Day this week? Yeah, can't they wait til after pay day? Bloody alcoholics. #
It's a LOVELY DAY. Praise be to God and Jesus …..and Leprechauns, Trolls, Unicorns all the other fictional characters @waynetron @scott014 #
@Twistedlilkitty "My neighbours are always banging, banging all the time. I can't hear myself drilling sometimes!" – Lee Evans in reply to Twistedlilkitty #
@yoghurteater Post a pic, Office Ninja. in reply to yoghurteater #
@pennyrobinson89 Wonders of the Solar System is awesome. x #
@comagirlx I was a prop. I wasn't great or anything but was only sport I was ever anything less than awful at. in reply to comagirlx #
RT @Simonpegg: Loving, Wonders Of The Solar System with Prodessor Brian Cox (9pm BBC2 Sundays). That guy loves space more than I do! #
@myfairkadie http://twitpic.com/z56iy – This picture is awesome! #
watching 24 now on Sky One and recording Wonders of Solar System on BBC2. @yoghurteater #
@georns You call that acting? #
Had a great night out for Helen's Birthday last nite. Can't remember much about how it ended, but it was a good nite. Cheers. #
Trev McDonald Meets David Cameron on ITV 2nite. Rather pluck out my own eyeballs than hear 1 detail about CaMORONs so-called life @comagirlx #
@georns I always thought you were cool! x #
It's Mother's Day, so Sci-Fi channel are showing all three TREMORS movies back to back. Riiiiiight. #
Where the fuck is my other shoe? I'm not going round to my Mum's house on Mother's Day wearing odd shoes! #
I'm so hungover! Cant even remember gettin home. All I remember is a hottie in a pink & black stripey dress. Oh good, Thunderbirds is on TV! #

leyton_jay’s Tweets For Week Ending 2010-03-13

Leyton — Sat, 13 Mar 2010 21:50:00 +0000

A person's sitting next to me who I swore was a man. After hearing her speak I think it's a very lesbian woman. Confusion. It's not good. #
Blackadder is banned in Scotland. Interesting fact. #
Theres a girl @ Shades 2nite whose Mum was a dinner lady. Playground patrol, who hated me. Shes havin a pint with an ugly man. Ha! Unlucky. #
A guy at pub is telling his girlfriend "I like you alot, but you piss me off!" Yeah, good luck with that. WTF? Dont give her ammunition! #
rt @dj_beard "The staff at Gala Bingo hate the sound of laughter." Its really not like the adverts, you could hear a pin drop. #
@georns Dont ask me, I made it upto sound cool. #
@comagirlx What? Kate Garraway was a hot MILF the last time I checked. #
@comagirlx Yeah it was the only sport I was good at. Last 2yrs of school I got good at it. I got tall & thin but retained fat kid momentum! #
@georns I saw a goat that could card tricks once! #
Guy at Gala Bingo asked us why on earth we wanted to go there. We said about commercial with young people havin fun. He just shook his head. #
Bingo is off! You can hear a pin drop in there and we already been told to be quiet. Going for drinks on the High Street. #
Filth's Made-Up Word Of The Day: Politity. Meaning a social nicity out of politeness. Not necessarily genuine but definately expected. #
I'm going to BINGO. The first rule of BINGO CLUB is, you don't talk about BINGO CLUB. The second rule… wait. Oh shit. #
New 9min 30s video Lady Gaga – Telephone ft Beyoncé. Almost a short film! Gaga is so fit I'm not even lookin at Beyonce http://bit.ly/aKA1PK #
Every1s spunking Rugby 2day! Even Lady-tweeters (@comagirlx @abbiedays). I'm rarely aware of it tbh, liked playin it more than footy though! #
#youdidntwantmeuntil until I had money to buy to drinks, drugs and foods. I wasted an entire summer on you, you fictitious whore!! #
@krelleishere Is that our new team name? Scruffykids Inc. I like it and I'll tell you who else does! http://www.twitpic.com/18cgrm in reply to krelleishere #
http://twitpic.com/18cgrm – Crocoduck Approves! #
We're in Wimpy for the first time in a decade. I'm going to ask for a Waldorf salad and a beer. #
http://twitpic.com/18bwqw – Oooow. Superdry do watches! But not in their shop, in the cheap F Hinds opposite. #
In town for the last minute scramble for Mother's Day cards & gifts. There so many hotties and I just look like Wolfman havin a bad-fur day. #
I'd love to watch Lesbian Vampire Killers but I cant watch Corden & Horn! I dont even know what way round their names go. Insufferable. #
What is it about James Corden? Why does everyone think he's funny? He's not funny, that show they did was diabolical tripe. #
@markeverclear I see you're a fan of TV Offal, a progressive satire show that I'd call a zainy-precursor to Charlie Brooker's Screenwipe. #
Cartman: "How many Smurfberries are enough Wendy?!" Cartman dressed as Wendy: "Suck my fat tits!" #southpark #
The steam room at the gyn was a dense fog of confusion. I am super shiny after exfoliating 10 layers. "It was hotter than the sun, Lynn!" #
WHATS THE NEXT LINE? "He's lookin for a boy." #leagueofgentlemen #
Alan Partridge's video is called "CRASH, BANG, WALLOP, WHAT A VIDEO!" #alanpartridge #
"Michael, release the Headmaster!" #alanpartridge #
Lady Gaga video for Telephone ft Beyonce. There's boobs & ladies kissingt!! Over 9min of hot females in tiny outfits! http://bit.ly/cFT4VD #
Former leader of Tory MEPs defects to Lib Dems! Edward McMillan-Scott accuses David Cameron of being a flip-flopper http://bit.ly/bJdDvV #
Why is #justice4MJ trending? We got justice didn't we? He's dead! He woulda shuffled into the O2 and disappointed every1! Better this way! #
@DougSaunders @f800gecko Actually boys, Rentokil's servers crashed! The other 200 websites they run went down too! Comments continue on blog #
@Megaveli Yeah that Lady G / Beyonce video is amazin! Your profile pic is HOT by the way! in reply to Megaveli #
@rickymartinez88 I thought it was hot! Thats probably the dirtiest thing I've ever seen that's still tasteful! Lady G would be banged! in reply to rickymartinez88 #
Wow! I just saw Paris in all it's 26-gigapixel glory! http://www.paris-26-gigapixels.com/ #
I'm bent over, with a crash helmet on, doing my best to be heard over a Force-10 fucking from The Fucker. #thethickofit #
Happy Follow Friday. Follow these people… @abbiedays @officialrandl @twistedlilkitty @krelleishere @itsallaboutyouu #ff #followfriday #
@mazzawoo @phoenix_wright @bumblearse A massive traffic spike caused our server to crash. Back up now, affected hundreds of sites in reply to mazzawoo #
@unklerupert Yeah, a lot of attention suddenly caused our servers to crash. in reply to unklerupert #
@abbiedays I commented on your blog. That video is awesome mate. @twistedlilkitty just pointed it out to me. in reply to abbiedays #
@itsallaboutyouu Yeah we watched that, Eddie Izzard is easily distracted by trees and ducks and Ice-cream vans, but very determined! in reply to itsallaboutyouu #
Lady Gaga video for Telephone ft Beyonce. There's boobs & ladies kissing in it!! http://bit.ly/cFT4VD rt @twistedlilkitty #ladygaga #beyonce #
@Twistedlilkitty A truly awesome video. Dirty, sexy, nasty! http://bit.ly/cFT4VD Its not fair, I want a blonde fitty wrapped in Police tape! in reply to Twistedlilkitty #
@krelleishere Hey, here's that link to Alan Parker: Urban Warrior http://bit.ly/a1eH5y "Beware of dustman, they are agents of the State!" #
http://twitpic.com/182tuj – Si is on Google Street View fighting with giant boxes. #
@waynetron Just had a game of Can't Speak, Won't Speak with the clown who came to drop of DJ's rental car. He was an alabaster retard. #
@charlikins69 Morning! Thanks for the merchandise last night. Well tasty! #
Sorry, I'm going to be bit late for work. A complete fucking idiot has just knocked on my front door for a game of CAN'T SPEAK, WON'T SPEAK. #
@georns I say thank you to vending machines and printers. Used to know a girl who said Hello and Goodbye to cash machines! #uxdesign #
Irish National Leprechaun Museum opens in Dublin. Anythin for tourists, eh? [cue US Dollars raining from sky] http://is.gd/agA0S @comagirlx #
Is the #LHC at #CERN shutting for 2yrs? Apparently they broke the 7MeV barrier, but to find the Higgs Boson they need to go to 14MeV? #
@twistedlilkitty Dont fancy them but as good interpretations of hot women (Marge, Lois, Leela). A kid at school had a wank to Lisa Simpson. #
@rentokil You were quoted in THE WEEK, p6. Research by Rentokil revealed 1000 cockroaches & 100s of other pests in a single train carriage. #
@donatahuggins Every age is an odd age. I'm 27 and still cant believe I'm an adult! I've got a real Peter Pan thing going on over here! #
@willstartariot Welcome to the mobile web! Setup txt service, then you can txt your tweets. x #
@yoghurteater Your AIDS playing you up again? #
"Get the fuck down to ITN and start briefing the shit out of them!" #thethickofit #
"The Spirit of Massachusetts is the Spirit of America! The Spirit of the Red, White and Blue!" #familyguy #
@carolinemytton I was working on Ehrlich today. Ditching those SLPs #
@comagirlx Calpolgirlx #
@allaboutyouu Good evenin. #
@comagirlx Calpol? Isn't that for kiddies? #
@casshoskins I should hope my faeces will be blurred! Dont want everyone seeing that! lol x #
@casshoskins He'll be owning the whole road in some pics and hugging the curb on others. #
Dude, this is totally gay! http://bit.ly/cCsUu2 #totallygay #
@adarlingxo http://twitpic.com/17cx4n – Super hot female! #
Sony's latest piece of hardware, PLAYSTATION MOVE http://bit.ly/aGo8CK #ps3 #psmove #
Good afternoon tweeps! #
Mmmm, Starbuck have a blog! http://bit.ly/asgqa6 @carolinemytton @danusiaj #
@CassHoskins I am quite distinctive! And my friends driving is allover the place so you'll prob see him zig-zagging about behind Google Car. in reply to CassHoskins #
10 Unexpected Online User Behaviours To Look Out For http://bit.ly/9w0BGj #webdev #uxdesign #webdesign @rentokil #
I rated a YouTube video (3 out of 5 stars) — 2012: The Polar Shift Explained http://youtu.be/4Lhs7VR52Bg?a #
Got a Doomsday Survival website for you here boys…. http://survive2012.com/ @philhd @scott014 #
Flock of Starlings fall from the sky http://bit.ly/9gd49D is this precursor to 2012 magnetic pole shift? http://bit.ly/aUS6n8 @scott014 #
@casshoskins Careful now, privacy etc! Crawley's not on Street View yet. We should feature alot we followed the Google Car around. #
@rachelmahon Well no its not really metal, but the only bands I recognise have all played Download so I just assumed. What fests you doing? #
@twistedlilkitty Yeah, the kissing in Heavy Rain is pretty wooden. We thought it was like a cross between Team America and Robot Chicken. #
"Eclipse is trending cos a 10sec trailers been released. I've had sneezes that were more enjoyable. Much more enjoyable" rt @twistedlilkitty #
A man on Jeremy Kyle said "I got the money by working with the gypsies". That's about as believable as "a Scarecrow took me to Paris". #
Shutting down now after working on some redesigns for Rentokil's deBugged blog. It's starting to look sexy! @carolinemytton @rentokil #
Found a weekend metal festival in heart of London, CAMDEN CRAWL. Sat 1 & Sun 2 May – Anyone interested? http://bit.ly/dvnGXQ #camdencrawl #
@xhannahgunsx Camden Crawl looks good, never heard of it before, just seen it trending. Thank fuck for Twitter or I woulda missed that. x #
@pennyrobinson89 Enjoy Alice in Wonderland. Dont expect too much or the original story, not seen it myself but I've heard bad things :S in reply to pennyrobinson89 #
@yoghurteater Good evening! in reply to yoghurteater #
Someone in the House of Commons just shouted "Save 6 Music" during Prime Minister's Questions. #pmq #save6music #
@idlekat "Cheg on, God. You am a twart!" Lee and Herring rule! "Where's my Jelly?!" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=31JRilkI8gM in reply to idlekat #
Rentokil helped the Libyan government control an outbreak of Bubonic Plague! Black death? Is that still about? http://bit.ly/ddOnVM #
@Georns A dog is following you? I once waved at a dog & said hello to it. The owner thought I was strange, but it seemed appropriate to me. in reply to Georns #
Google Apps Marketplace lets you plug useful widgets, apps & business tools into your Google Account! http://bit.ly/9FvSyI #
@danusiaj Just our team at CP as we need it to do your Social Media project. As Web Developers/Marketeers we should have access by default. in reply to danusiaj #
A Jumping Plant Louse that eats invading Japanese Knotweed to be released in UK http://bit.ly/clbtWR @rentokil #iyb #biodiversity #
When seducing ladies, I follow Willy Wonkas advice "Candy is dandy but licquer is quicker". That was in 60s before they called it Date Rape. #
Super HOT girl shreds her guitar!!!! http://bit.ly/bnWkR6 #
@pennyrobinson89 Hows you been recently? My weekend was loud, then messy and finally slovenly. Gotta investigate moving again soon in reply to pennyrobinson89 #
#imtiredofseeing Helena Bonham Carter in every new film, she sucks! She played SKYNET in T4 and it was truly weeeeeeeak. #
@pennyrobinson89 There must be a black market for pipettes! in reply to pennyrobinson89 #
@yoghurteater Gatwick's bleak cos I'm currently there! in reply to yoghurteater #
@jonno08 Welcome home Jonno! in reply to jonno08 #
@Rentokil We finally have access to Twitter and Facebook at City Place! Good goodness for the simple things! @carolinemytton in reply to Rentokil #
Should be getting full access to Twitter & Facebook at work today. But its not happened yet not sure how I'm supposed to work without it. #
Saw @mrchrisaddison Stand Up on Sat. Said we must vote Labour to keep Malcolm, @rebeccafront & him in power on #thethickofit @comagirlx #
RT @comagirlx: @leyton_jay "Let's get out there and get them. LET'S SET FIRE TO TEARS!!!" #thethickofit #
Entotherm – a chemical free process from Rentokil – kills bugs and germs by denaturing proteins. http://ow.ly/1fW0 rt @carolinemytton #
Virgin Active Gym in Crawley is full of people I don't like tonight. Knob-jocks and the like. #
Oh, poofter eh? #leagueofgentleman #
80% of people around the world believe access to the internet is a fundamental right http://bit.ly/bb2rQu #bbc #internet #
Interactive Timeline Mapping Internet Usage Across The World Since 1998 http://bit.ly/9f88H1 #bbc #internet #
http://twitpic.com/17ceg3 – Congratulations to Sandra Bullock for winning an Oscar. 46 yrs old & she's still super-hot http://bit.ly/d9as56 #
On his first day of running marathons for Sports Relief, Eddie Izzard stopped to buy a Calippo. #sportsrelief #bbc3 #
Some people love to moan! Some people watched Mandela walk to freedom and said "Is Diagnosis Murder not on the other side?" #thethickofit #
"Some people love to moan! They walk around the fucking Garden of Eden moaning about the lack of fucking mobile reception." #thethickofit #
"I'll put a good word in for you at the Foreign Office! They're always looking for cleaners, it fucking huge!" #thethickofit #
"Get the fuck down to ITN and start briefing the shit out of them!" #thethickofit #
"You are a naughty-bastard! I will not eat the pissy biscuit!" #thethickofit #
"What's the story, Fuck-a-noray?" #thethickofit #
"He'll be bent over with a crash helmet on, doing his best to be heard over a Force-10 fuckin from the Fucker!" #thethickofit #
Steve Fleming's a slimey cunt. Tucker was brutally… honest http://bit.ly/ar3eHK #thethickofit #
"you're all over the papers like a pissing puppy, Malcolm!" http://leytonjay.co.uk/steve-fleming-the-ghost-of-christmas-shit/ #thethickofit #
"You will see me AGAIN!" – Malcolm Tucker http://leytonjay.co.uk/steve-fleming-the-ghost-of-christmas-shit/ #thethickofit #bbcHD #
Malcolm Tucker's resignation is heart wrenching hilarity. http://leytonjay.co.uk/steve-fleming-the-ghost-of-christmas-shit/ #thethickofit #
"Tomorrow, it'll be history, like AIDS. Remember AIDS?" http://leytonjay.co.uk/steve-fleming-the-ghost-of-christmas-shit/ #thethickofit #
"Elderly aid? That makes me sound like a fucking stairlift!" http://bit.ly/ar3eHK #thethickofit #
"Sam, prepare my horse! I ride to DoSAC." http://leytonjay.co.uk/steve-fleming-the-ghost-of-christmas-shit/ #thethickofit #bbcHD #
Glad u liked #intheloop. Heres my posts on #thethickofit tv show it derived from http://bit.ly/8W5Cf9 @davesusetty @BenLaMothe @violetcreme #
Glad you liked #intheloop. Heres my posts on #thethickofit (tv show it derived from) http://bit.ly/8W5Cf9 @LiamRowbotham @DonataHuggins #
Glad you liked #intheloop. Heres my posts on #thethickofit (tv show it derived from) http://bit.ly/8W5Cf9 @therossco @Jayalay @XanderStewart #
@abbiedays Loving #intheloop. Hope they win some Oscars tonight. #
Hope you're all watching IN THE LOOP on BBC2 now. It's a British, BBC Film that's up for 2 Oscars tonight! #intheloop #thethickofit #
@georns I know I've done nothing all day and I'm cream-crackered. Lazily made a Chilli Lasagne whilst having Night At Museum marathon. #
@yoghurteater Canada's Next Top Model is dire. We only watch America's Next Top Model. in reply to yoghurteater #
@comagirlx What did you apply for? Dream job or just to get by? in reply to comagirlx #
#geospatialmultiplicity #doctorwho #nightatthemuseum2 #
Making FITTEST LASAGNE EVER! Mince, half bottle Ros, half bottle white, onions garlic spinach passata, shredded carrot. Simmer for 1hr. #

leyton_jay’s Tweets For Week Ending 2010-03-06

Leyton — Sat, 06 Mar 2010 21:50:00 +0000

Just seen @mrchrisaddison at Brighton, Komedia. Brilliant. Non-politically politicative. Oscar winning hair. #thethickofit #intheloop #
@abbiedays http://twitpic.com/17033x – @abbiedays Lookin' goooood! #
About to see @mrchrisaddison aka Olly from The Thick of It at Komedia, Brighton. Awesome! #thethickofit #
@mrchrisaddison We're seeing you second show tonight in Brighton Chris, can't wait! Komedia is a brilliant venue. in reply to mrchrisaddison #
RT @mrchrisaddison: Two shows in Brighton & a roaring cough. Come along and you've every chance of seeing a comedian ACTUALLY die on stage. #
@CassHoskins You have my sympathies on hangover. Did you have fun? I think I woke up ill. Sore throat, blocked nose, cracked lips. Not good. in reply to CassHoskins #
This damning article about that horrific tripe PINEAPPLE DANCE STUDIOS is brilliant! http://is.gd/9MOeQ Thanks Charlie Brooker! @comagirlx #
@yoghurteater Mmmm, perhaps a famous chef will make us tea? You reckon Gordon Ramsey makes better tea than normal person? Better than a Nan? in reply to yoghurteater #
@yoghurteater Fabreeze will do it, but its not good for hair. It's the wrong kind of product, darling! in reply to yoghurteater #
I want a cup of tea. #
@comagirlx I feel asleep just before they left Monty's house, fallen asleep to so many things lately, annoying @dj_beard with my snoring. #
@gkm77x "Oh yeah, yeah! Harder! That's amazing! Freeze! I'm a cop!" #
"My heart's beating like a fucked clock!" – Withnail & I #
Watching WITHNAIL & I for about the millionth time. DJ is a fan too but this is first time we've watched it together. Awesome soundtrack. #
Loving South Park on Comedy Central right now. Butters is a pimp! The nicest pimp ever! #
Shut up Clive Anderson, you're not funny! You ruin QI. #qi #bbc #
Television, drug of the nation. Breeding ignorance and feeding radiation. #
http://twitpic.com/16qa9d – These are not the bargains you're looking for. @dj_beard @waynetron @markeverclear #starwars #tesco #
Ships and passenger ferries stuck in Baltic Sea Ice off the coast of Sweden. http://bit.ly/cHscOU #
I've Never Voted Tory Before But…. Being Made Unemployed Sounds Fun! http://bit.ly/czvNoX #ihavenevervotedtory #
RENTOKIL INITIAL SECURES £200 MILLION CONTRACT WITH LONDON UNDERGROUND http://bit.ly/9Bnf9F #tube #tfl #rentokilinitial #
Robert Mugabe (the racist, insane, election rigging) President of Zimbabwe is a Tory. http://bit.ly/cl37kb #
Carol Vorderman is a secret Tory! She was their attack dog on BBC Question Time http://bit.ly/c6jmQI #
http://twitpic.com/16kbjm – Rentokil HQ have my two fav flavours of coffee, just like being at home! Had a great day, thank you! @rentokil #
@krelleishere Rappers are at the cinema, you've seen 'em. You've seen the rappers at Cineworld, being disruptive. You've seen the rappers! #
@X_Hodge_X Hey, did you have fun last night at Bar Med? I saw you in there from across the room. xx #
@TheeDragonfly Look forward to seeing you tonight! #
@alexanderstokes Yeah Phil did well. He had to go on 45mins earlier than we planned & one member of staff was a total dick. But it went well #
@comagirlx Long time no speak, how you been? I been workin so much lately neglected all my online friends. X #
The man who stradles many groups, truly belongs in none of them. #
Just remembered why I dont go Bar Med anymore. The staff are idiots. #
In 45mins @PhilHD takes the decks at Bar Med. Get your drugs-face on and bang-on. @scott014 #
Rappers are at the cinema, you've seen 'em. You've seen the rappers at Cineworld, being disruptive. You've seen the rappers #stewartlee #
Has been sent Alan Partridge – I'm Alan Partridge – Series 2 – Disc 1: http://LOVEFiLM.com/r/QQiB-28 #
Has been sent Welcome To Collinwood: http://LOVEFiLM.com/r/QQj3OQ #
@alexanderstokes Yeah mate, Phil is DJing at Bar Med tonight, well up for it. Will be have a few drinks in Jubilee 1st for mate's birthday. #
http://twitpic.com/16kbjm – Rentokil HQ have my two fav flavours of coffee, it's just like being at home! Had a great day, thank you! @rento #
http://twitpic.com/16k918 – Rentokil HQ have exactly the same two brands of coffee we have at home! #
Discussing #debugged redesigns on a BIG screen at @Rentokil Maidenhead #
Watched Death Sentence – BLU-RAY Version: http://LOVEFiLM.com/r/QQyF7kY #
Today I'm going to @Rentokil HQ in Maidenhead to meet with @danusiaj and @carolinemytton to talk about their blog, #deBugged. Should be fun! #
I'm currently behind the bar at the Rat & Parrot. Acting, not serving. #
I'm heading to Rat & Parrot now act in a film for Tom O'Dwyer. Not sure what exactly, but I'm usually available to shout stuff at a lens. #
A rude font, called Effing Typeface http://bit.ly/9PZabW The funniest typography I've seen #fonts #
Phil Rankin's DJing at Bar Med Crawley on Thu 4 Mar from 11:30 – 12, metal that's bang upto-date! Entry £2 b4 10pm then £3 #
Just randomly met my Dad in Gatwick South Terminal! He normally works in North Terminal and this is the one day my hair is a complete mess! #
http://twitpic.com/16czx1 – I'm sharing a yoghurt with a notorious Bounty Hunter. #starwars #robotchicken @dj_beard #
http://twitpic.com/16cz9w – I'm sharing a yoghurt with a notorious Bounty Hunter. #starwars #robotchicken #
@sallyb lol Yeah! Butters & Awesom-O on now. "Eric's still grounded for trying to exterminate the Jews 2 weeks ago" #southpark #
http://twitpic.com/16aa0c – Is @Rentokil van-spotting your hobby a now? @twistedwhistler Competition to spot a specially painted van? #
Or eleven if you count the two family members who killed themselves afterwards! #southpark #
I'm always amused and amazed by the number of people who die when Butters' Tap Dancing shoe flies off! #southpark #
Prom Night Dumpster Baby! #familyguy #bbc3 #
@georns Ah really? You certainly know you zoology! #
@SarahBrown10 http://twitpic.com/16a1ep – Yeah, I would've definitely tried the slide! Did you get any free stuff? I won a Google Umbrella t #
Does anyone remember the episode of PINGU where he does a wee on the floor and his Mum slips up on it? Pingu was awesome. @scott014 @philhd #
BROWN ISLAND, a nature reserve for the criminally insane. @twistedwhistler #
I must be bipolar. Today my mood and even my general opinion of my life changed drastically (for the worse) in just a few seconds #
"Ants are first animal known to navigate in Stereo Smell" http://bit.ly/dvz1(Sorry BBC, they're insects not animals!) @rentokil #ants #
Does your Original PS3 have the Leap Year Bug? http://bit.ly/crVh9U @waynetron @jonno08 @scott014 @philhd #ps3 #playstation3 #sony #
http://twitpic.com/166rue – I just won a Google Umbrella!!! Awesome! #
A group of businessman called The Red Knights are threatening to launch a takeover bid for Manchester United! Really? Thats loadsa money! #
Chris Moyles Show is great today on World's Greatest Radio One! Txt BIKE to 70011 to give 1 to Sport Relief. #
DJ's just said he wouldn't mind being killed in a nuclear explosion. "It'd be heavy! How many people get nuked nowadays?" @dj_beard @philhd #
Cloverfield on a big TV is amazin! In the tunnel when #rats start to run past them… I knew it was alien-wolf-spider time! @rentokil #
Internet Explorer users will be given option to use a rival browser today. EU court ruled it unfair to include IE with every copy of Windows #
@georns Doing a spot of voyeurism are we? #
I know I cussed Kevin Bacon recently but about to watch DEATH SENTENCE also known as KEVIN BACON GOES NUTS. I really liked it @ cinema. #
@yoghurteater Yeah it has to be Kirk, but I don't admire his style that much. He was a just a cowboy in space. Picard is my trek hero. in reply to yoghurteater #
LOL! We heard about Pat Robertson in UKwhen @charltonbrooker showed him on his TV show #Newswipe. He's him on US media, http://bit.ly/9DmZcI #
Why the fuck is Countryfile trending? Like it when I randomly see it once in blue moon, but dont regularly watch it. Is it cool now then? #
@WillStartARiot I'm a follower, you said somethin witty I found on a search. You said you were upset, I asked you why, just hopin you're ok. in reply to WillStartARiot #
Lookin forward to work 2mrw! Still workin on new-look rentokil-initial.com but now have a tasty redesign for @rentokil too! @carolinemytton #
Playing HARD RAIN, really like it! You're kinda playing a film. Hate the bitch at begining, nagging you to be careful with her plates. #ps3 #
leyton_jay’s Tweets For Week Ending 2010-02-27: I just heard they're going to do a Pirates of the Carribean 4. The… http://bit.ly/aW0DjU #

leyton_jay’s Tweets For Week Ending 2010-03-06

Leyton — Sat, 06 Mar 2010 21:50:00 +0000

Just seen @mrchrisaddison at Brighton, Komedia. Brilliant. Non-politically politicative. Oscar winning hair. #thethickofit #intheloop #
@abbiedays http://twitpic.com/17033x – @abbiedays Lookin' goooood! #
About to see @mrchrisaddison aka Olly from The Thick of It at Komedia, Brighton. Awesome! #thethickofit #
@mrchrisaddison We're seeing you second show tonight in Brighton Chris, can't wait! Komedia is a brilliant venue. in reply to mrchrisaddison #
RT @mrchrisaddison: Two shows in Brighton & a roaring cough. Come along and you've every chance of seeing a comedian ACTUALLY die on stage. #
@CassHoskins You have my sympathies on hangover. Did you have fun? I think I woke up ill. Sore throat, blocked nose, cracked lips. Not good. in reply to CassHoskins #
This damning article about that horrific tripe PINEAPPLE DANCE STUDIOS is brilliant! http://is.gd/9MOeQ Thanks Charlie Brooker! @comagirlx #
@yoghurteater Mmmm, perhaps a famous chef will make us tea? You reckon Gordon Ramsey makes better tea than normal person? Better than a Nan? in reply to yoghurteater #
@yoghurteater Fabreeze will do it, but its not good for hair. It's the wrong kind of product, darling! in reply to yoghurteater #
I want a cup of tea. #
@comagirlx I feel asleep just before they left Monty's house, fallen asleep to so many things lately, annoying @dj_beard with my snoring. #
@gkm77x "Oh yeah, yeah! Harder! That's amazing! Freeze! I'm a cop!" #
"My heart's beating like a fucked clock!" – Withnail & I #
Watching WITHNAIL & I for about the millionth time. DJ is a fan too but this is first time we've watched it together. Awesome soundtrack. #
Loving South Park on Comedy Central right now. Butters is a pimp! The nicest pimp ever! #
Shut up Clive Anderson, you're not funny! You ruin QI. #qi #bbc #
Television, drug of the nation. Breeding ignorance and feeding radiation. #
http://twitpic.com/16qa9d – These are not the bargains you're looking for. @dj_beard @waynetron @markeverclear #starwars #tesco #
Ships and passenger ferries stuck in Baltic Sea Ice off the coast of Sweden. http://bit.ly/cHscOU #
I've Never Voted Tory Before But…. Being Made Unemployed Sounds Fun! http://bit.ly/czvNoX #ihavenevervotedtory #
RENTOKIL INITIAL SECURES £200 MILLION CONTRACT WITH LONDON UNDERGROUND http://bit.ly/9Bnf9F #tube #tfl #rentokilinitial #
Robert Mugabe (the racist, insane, election rigging) President of Zimbabwe is a Tory. http://bit.ly/cl37kb #
Carol Vorderman is a secret Tory! She was their attack dog on BBC Question Time http://bit.ly/c6jmQI #
http://twitpic.com/16kbjm – Rentokil HQ have my two fav flavours of coffee, just like being at home! Had a great day, thank you! @rentokil #
@krelleishere Rappers are at the cinema, you've seen 'em. You've seen the rappers at Cineworld, being disruptive. You've seen the rappers! #
@X_Hodge_X Hey, did you have fun last night at Bar Med? I saw you in there from across the room. xx #
@TheeDragonfly Look forward to seeing you tonight! #
@alexanderstokes Yeah Phil did well. He had to go on 45mins earlier than we planned & one member of staff was a total dick. But it went well #
@comagirlx Long time no speak, how you been? I been workin so much lately neglected all my online friends. X #
The man who stradles many groups, truly belongs in none of them. #
Just remembered why I dont go Bar Med anymore. The staff are idiots. #
In 45mins @PhilHD takes the decks at Bar Med. Get your drugs-face on and bang-on. @scott014 #
Rappers are at the cinema, you've seen 'em. You've seen the rappers at Cineworld, being disruptive. You've seen the rappers #stewartlee #
Has been sent Alan Partridge – I'm Alan Partridge – Series 2 – Disc 1: http://LOVEFiLM.com/r/QQiB-28 #
Has been sent Welcome To Collinwood: http://LOVEFiLM.com/r/QQj3OQ #
@alexanderstokes Yeah mate, Phil is DJing at Bar Med tonight, well up for it. Will be have a few drinks in Jubilee 1st for mate's birthday. #
http://twitpic.com/16kbjm – Rentokil HQ have my two fav flavours of coffee, it's just like being at home! Had a great day, thank you! @rento #
http://twitpic.com/16k918 – Rentokil HQ have exactly the same two brands of coffee we have at home! #
Discussing #debugged redesigns on a BIG screen at @Rentokil Maidenhead #
Watched Death Sentence – BLU-RAY Version: http://LOVEFiLM.com/r/QQyF7kY #
Today I'm going to @Rentokil HQ in Maidenhead to meet with @danusiaj and @carolinemytton to talk about their blog, #deBugged. Should be fun! #
I'm currently behind the bar at the Rat & Parrot. Acting, not serving. #
I'm heading to Rat & Parrot now act in a film for Tom O'Dwyer. Not sure what exactly, but I'm usually available to shout stuff at a lens. #
A rude font, called Effing Typeface http://bit.ly/9PZabW The funniest typography I've seen #fonts #
Phil Rankin's DJing at Bar Med Crawley on Thu 4 Mar from 11:30 – 12, metal that's bang upto-date! Entry £2 b4 10pm then £3 #
Just randomly met my Dad in Gatwick South Terminal! He normally works in North Terminal and this is the one day my hair is a complete mess! #
http://twitpic.com/16czx1 – I'm sharing a yoghurt with a notorious Bounty Hunter. #starwars #robotchicken @dj_beard #
http://twitpic.com/16cz9w – I'm sharing a yoghurt with a notorious Bounty Hunter. #starwars #robotchicken #
@sallyb lol Yeah! Butters & Awesom-O on now. "Eric's still grounded for trying to exterminate the Jews 2 weeks ago" #southpark #
http://twitpic.com/16aa0c – Is @Rentokil van-spotting your hobby a now? @twistedwhistler Competition to spot a specially painted van? #
Or eleven if you count the two family members who killed themselves afterwards! #southpark #
I'm always amused and amazed by the number of people who die when Butters' Tap Dancing shoe flies off! #southpark #
Prom Night Dumpster Baby! #familyguy #bbc3 #
@georns Ah really? You certainly know you zoology! #
@SarahBrown10 http://twitpic.com/16a1ep – Yeah, I would've definitely tried the slide! Did you get any free stuff? I won a Google Umbrella t #
Does anyone remember the episode of PINGU where he does a wee on the floor and his Mum slips up on it? Pingu was awesome. @scott014 @philhd #
BROWN ISLAND, a nature reserve for the criminally insane. @twistedwhistler #
I must be bipolar. Today my mood and even my general opinion of my life changed drastically (for the worse) in just a few seconds #
"Ants are first animal known to navigate in Stereo Smell" http://bit.ly/dvz1(Sorry BBC, they're insects not animals!) @rentokil #ants #
Does your Original PS3 have the Leap Year Bug? http://bit.ly/crVh9U @waynetron @jonno08 @scott014 @philhd #ps3 #playstation3 #sony #
http://twitpic.com/166rue – I just won a Google Umbrella!!! Awesome! #
A group of businessman called The Red Knights are threatening to launch a takeover bid for Manchester United! Really? Thats loadsa money! #
Chris Moyles Show is great today on World's Greatest Radio One! Txt BIKE to 70011 to give 1 to Sport Relief. #
DJ's just said he wouldn't mind being killed in a nuclear explosion. "It'd be heavy! How many people get nuked nowadays?" @dj_beard @philhd #
Cloverfield on a big TV is amazin! In the tunnel when #rats start to run past them… I knew it was alien-wolf-spider time! @rentokil #
Internet Explorer users will be given option to use a rival browser today. EU court ruled it unfair to include IE with every copy of Windows #
@georns Doing a spot of voyeurism are we? #
I know I cussed Kevin Bacon recently but about to watch DEATH SENTENCE also known as KEVIN BACON GOES NUTS. I really liked it @ cinema. #
@yoghurteater Yeah it has to be Kirk, but I don't admire his style that much. He was a just a cowboy in space. Picard is my trek hero. in reply to yoghurteater #
LOL! We heard about Pat Robertson in UKwhen @charltonbrooker showed him on his TV show #Newswipe. He's him on US media, http://bit.ly/9DmZcI #
Why the fuck is Countryfile trending? Like it when I randomly see it once in blue moon, but dont regularly watch it. Is it cool now then? #
@WillStartARiot I'm a follower, you said somethin witty I found on a search. You said you were upset, I asked you why, just hopin you're ok. in reply to WillStartARiot #
Lookin forward to work 2mrw! Still workin on new-look rentokil-initial.com but now have a tasty redesign for @rentokil too! @carolinemytton #
Playing HARD RAIN, really like it! You're kinda playing a film. Hate the bitch at begining, nagging you to be careful with her plates. #ps3 #
leyton_jay’s Tweets For Week Ending 2010-02-27: I just heard they're going to do a Pirates of the Carribean 4. The… http://bit.ly/aW0DjU #

leyton_jay’s Tweets For Week Ending 2010-02-27

Leyton — Sat, 27 Feb 2010 21:50:00 +0000

I just heard they're going to do a Pirates of the Carribean 4. They really are flogging a dead horse now. Know when to stop! #disney #
It's good to see C3PO bigging R2D2 up to Luke Skywalker when they first meet. Threepio tries to get his buddy a job straight away. #starwars #
Built a little Star Wars site using Google Sites on Rentokil Initial Google Apps platform. Had to write CSS/HTML but got lots done in 30min #
SR-71 Blackbird was first stealth aeroplane & worlds fastest aeroplane, setting a record of 3,500 kph over 40yrs ago which was never beaten. #
There's a man on TV who's blending up fried eggs, bacon, cereal, milk and orange juice. I would probably eat that. #
"You're not driving are you? You're too pissed. Blow into this apple." @dj_beard #
Dial-a-Egg #
"In the world of conspiracy theories, if you can see a pyramid then the lizard eyes can see you." #
@abbiedays Hospitals are prisons for the sick. #alanparker #
I am in a stupid and foolish mood. I am returning home to shout COOK MY EGG at @dj_beard. My home… it is a silly place! #
BBC Archive – British Sculptor Henry Moore reflects on his life as an artist. I love Henry Moore's work! http://bit.ly/9O3ISV #henrymoore #
Grizzy Bears encroach on Polar Bear terrority. Scientists find hybrids, but do we call them Pizzlies or Grolars? http://bit.ly/bp1qRJ #iyb #
Oh dear. UKIP embarrass Great Britain in EU Parliament. Nigel Farage made a fool of us by going off on one! http://bit.ly/9wrUxH #
I wanna go to HENRY MOORE exhibition @ Tate Britain http://bit.ly/aUmKfR Experimental & avant-garde; he was one of Britains greatest artists #
Derby residents vote for a new road to be named "Lara Croft Way" http://bit.ly/9Pmlz8 #tombraider #laracroft #
♫ "Head Like A Hole" – Nine Inch Nails http://bit.ly/cmy2hh What an amazing album! #nin #
@mayoroflondon http://twitpic.com/12t1vy – I wouldn't go back there Boris, you'll catch that Blurry Disease they all seem to have. #
♫ Nine Inch Nails – "Terrible Lie" – I've forgotten what an amazing album Pretty Hate Machine is! http://bit.ly/cmy2hh #nin #
Guardian article about the BBC's axing of 6Music and Asian Network http://bit.ly/ad6L0g #save6music @edgarwright @nickjfrost @charlottegore #
http://twitpic.com/15eiu3 – Awesome! Scarter got me a Rentokil North America travel mug! I'm a connoisseur of mugs. @rentokil #rentokil #
Oooop! http://bit.ly/9TuKey I hope tensions don't heat up too much, might get a bit controversial for us @carolinemytton #
Its Follow Friday! #ff American funny men @rich_fulcher @dougstanhope. Or @yoghurteater if you enjoy the comedy musings of a commuter lady. #
@mrchrisaddison Never listened to 6 Music, any good? #save6music #bbc #
@abbiedays Why? Where's it going? I've never listened #save6music in reply to abbiedays #
I expect at least three "wanking-off paedophiles" routines in any comedy show, or what's the point of going? #RichardHerring @philhd #
"If I was forced to come down on 1 side of the arguement, I'd probably say paedophilia is wrong." #RichardHerring @scott014 @markeverclear #
"If I could travel back through time, I'd fuck myself." #RichardHerring #theheadmastersson @herring1967 @markeverclear #
I'm loving Richard Herring's Stand Up: The Headmaster's Son. It's absolutely hilarious in grinding, tedious kinda way. @herring1967 #comedy #
@yoghurteater Kill them for seasonal mismatch. Xmas hats indeed! in reply to yoghurteater #
Just leaving work at 8pm! Had my head in Photoshop so much I didnt realise the time. Heading straight to the pub now! #
Star Wars & Adidas Originals have created a clothing line inspired by your favourite Star Wars characters! http://bit.ly/9RfjqJ @philhd #
Goth Girl of the Week…. http://bit.ly/cwG4Il – Never has a simple fringe and a pair of eyes looked hotter!! #
Dribbling Sex Pest on Crimewatch after attacking 13yr old girl whilst slobbering. Called you Scott Rankin! http://bit.ly/bX8IeD @scott014 #
Has been sent Fifth Element, The – Feature: http://LOVEFiLM.com/r/QQiMLw #
Star Wars & Adidas Originals have created a clothing line inspired by your favourite Star Wars characters! http://bit.ly/9RfjqJ #
Scientists use underwater robot that plans its own experiments on seafloor. It also avoids strong currents & obstacles http://bit.ly/9rUGx8 #
SeaWorld trainer dies in killer whale attack in Orlando http://bit.ly/c4ZMAy #
Wanna go Railway tonight?
A few cheap drinks?
I might go if you're going…
Let me know.
@alice @ben @boron
@aldie @tom @twitter #
How RAF Tornados are doing a great job, assisting Nato forces in their operations against the Taliban in Afghanistan http://bit.ly/aW0WAU #
Watched Interceptor: http://LOVEFiLM.com/r/QQyIw00 #
I'm investigating Arabic websites, designing right to left feels quite alien. Check out http://www.google.com.ly/, such tiny text! @rentokil #
Latvian Robin Hood hacker leaks bank bonus details! He's exposing those cashing in on recession http://bit.ly/bEccAi @philhd @scott014 #
Dribbling Sex Pest on Crimewatch after attacking 13yr old while dribblin profusely. Called you Scott! http://bit.ly/bX8IeD @scott014 @philhd #
Just seen a trailer for new BBC documentary series WONDERS OF THE SOLAR SYSTEM. I'm watching that! #bbc2 #WOTSS @comagirlx #
Qapla! #melgibson #southpark #
LDEM 19% started to trend only because its the only consistent part of the different YouGov tweets. What a dissappointing reason to trend. #
http://twitpic.com/155e81 – It's a trap! No, it's a tarp! #ackbar #starwars @fraggle35 #
"Admiral Akbar might look like a twat but he knows a fucking trap when he sees one." rt @fraggle35 #
@LLKingO Any mention of MySpace here in the UK warrants an immediate snigger. I scoff at MySpace. It is a silly place. #spamalot # myspace #
In the US to hear 'cunt' on TV you gotta buy HBO. Pay to hear it. Last 3 times I heard it said: Simmon Munnery, Macolm Tucker, @dj_beard #
@boydxo Jesus, did you see that waitress woman kick-off? Oy vey! Kitchen Nightmares USA #kitchennightmaresus in reply to boydxo #
@DougStanhope When are you coming to the UK, man? We all love your segment on Newswipe! in reply to DougStanhope #
@waynetron Scheduled retweets… in reply to waynetron #
Stephen Hawking just cussed your Mum using physics… http://www.twitpic.com/152qkw #stephenhawking #physics #lol #yomama #blackhole #
Awww, tiny Lolcat…. http://bit.ly/bb7LUm #lol #lolcat #
Shakespeare, lol. http://www.twitpic.com/15275z #shakespeare #lol #
Brand new HTML tag for declaring a certain type of person. http://www.twitpic.com/152c2j #html #css #w3c #webdevelopment #
@abbiedays Glad you're in high Shakespearian spirits. Personally, I have of late lost all my mirth, I know not where in reply to abbiedays #
New invention for men who enjoy reading whilst getting a blowjob… http://www.twitpic.com/152oip #
http://twitpic.com/152qkw – Stephen Hawking just cussed your Mum using physics… #stephenhawking #physics #lol #yomama #blackhole #
http://twitpic.com/152oip – New invention for men who enjoy reading whilst getting a blowjob… #
Nokia launches Ovi Maps to challenge Sat-Nav manufacturers. But Google Maps on Nokia is easier, better & faster! http://bit.ly/dg1OB9 #gps #
http://twitpic.com/152c2j – Brand new HTML tag for declaring a certain type of person. #html #css #w3c #webdevelopment @theedragonfly @sasch #
http://twitpic.com/15275z – Shakespeare, lol. #shakespeare #lol #
@TeenCelebBuzz http://twitpic.com/1526v7 – She would get it! #AshleyTisdale #
New Ultra-Secure US Embassy unveiled. Giant Glass Cube surrounded by moats & ditches, opposite MI6 HQ http://bit.ly/bzbtsv #mi6 #cia #london #
@Twistedlilkitty That surprises me, you're forever telling us! in reply to Twistedlilkitty #
e: Dear Gaylords – I start back on the road this week – San Jose, Boise, SLC. Please spread the word and I'll try to… http://bit.ly/bMNcZ #
"Butters, he's your account-a-bill-a-buddy. That makes you account-a-bill-buddy-able!" #southpark #
Do you think the PM is really a bully? I think he's probably a nice guy. #bullying #gordonbrown #
RT @deedelvis: Tickety tock it's bum-kiss o'clock #newswipe #
@chrislucas113 Tend to rewatch Newswipe at least once a week on iPlayer so I do compilation in my head. So funny, I miss bits while laughin. in reply to chrislucas113 #
@chrislucas113 Totally agree. But I've gotten a lot of people into Newswipe half way thru this series so hope it please them. in reply to chrislucas113 #
RT @chrislucas113: as much as I love #newswipe I find having the last compilation episode of a 6 episode series a bit cheeky… #
@kostmayer So you hate that episode of Star Trek The Next Clip Show where Riker is in a coma too? Why do comas trigger nostalgia? in reply to kostmayer #
RT @geospiza_fortis: #Newswipe time! The music in the opening montage always makes me smile #
@cgirvine Newswipe everytime! x in reply to cgirvine #
RT @AlextheFly: Time for #Newswipe ! Last one of the series. *sob* #
Newswipe. Now. BBC 4. Watch it. #
I hope Barry Shitpeas gets some airtime this week. I love Stanhope, but you've gotta give Shitpeas the respect he deserves #newswipe #
@mooncushion Mmmm, Newswipe, I love it. in reply to mooncushion #
@CassHoskins I know, I'm a little late leaving my friend's house. I'm going to miss the first half. Thank god for Catch Up! #newswipe in reply to CassHoskins #
There's no way Argentina are getting the Falkland Islands off us. If they want another war, they can have one! http://bit.ly/d2sSzD #
Gave Moon – BLU-RAY Version 5.0 stars: http://LOVEFiLM.com/r/QRCIpHc #
Gave Angels And Demons – BLU-RAY Version 1.5 stars: http://LOVEFiLM.com/r/QRCImDw #
Gave The Hangover 5.0 stars: http://LOVEFiLM.com/r/QRCHkQE #
Gave Batteries Not Included 2.0 stars: http://LOVEFiLM.com/r/QRDqBw #
Gave Robot Chicken – Star Wars Episode 2 5.0 stars: http://LOVEFiLM.com/r/QRCH820 #
RT @Scott014: "Women into logic won't go." #
@IlIIllIIIlll @georns Was it really 1833? Well, they're definately not havin Falklands then if we've had them that long! in reply to IlIIllIIIlll #
Has been sent Ghost In The Shell: http://LOVEFiLM.com/r/QQiOXA #
There's no way the Argies are getting the Falkland Islands off us. We've had 'em since 1933 & we're fuckin keepin 'em! http://bit.ly/d2sSzD #
There's no way the Argies are getting the Falkland Islands off us. We've had 'em since 1933 & we're fuckin keepin 'em! http://bit.ly/d2sSzD #
Scientists genetically engineer 'lame' mosquitoes in an attempt to limit the spread of dengue fever. http://bit.ly/b5qiuR @rentokil #
'Singing therapy' used to rewire damaged brains. Patients unable to speak properly are able to sing clearly http://bit.ly/cRZLqi #
Watched Robot Chicken – Star Wars Episode 2: http://LOVEFiLM.com/r/QQyH820 #
Poison Dart frogs have monogamous relationships, they're dedicated parents and enjoy a cuddle! http://bit.ly/dgzBLk @rentokil #
There's no way Argentina are getting the Falkland Islands off us. If they want another war, they can have one! http://bit.ly/d2sSzD #
@Bakeroo Is the passport photo appropriately stupid? Or have you done the impossible and got yourself a good one? x in reply to Bakeroo #
What does today have in store? Coffee, more work on ri.com, more coffee, more gym and #newswipe tonight on BBC4. Mmmm, coffee. #
RT @Glinner "Worried about Dick Cheney. I hope he recovers enough to someday die in prison." #
http://twitpic.com/14tpjo – test of TWIBBLE. Twitter client for Nokia N96. #
Does anyone remember MINI-BOGLINS? @philhd @scott014 @jonno08 @theedragonfly @waynetron #oldschool #
"Well, what do you want, a chocolate fruit cake with beans on it? Get back to work!" #mightyboosh #
"WELCOME TO THE MIRROR-WORLD! I am Mister Susan, guardian of the mirrors!" #mightyboosh #
"I live right next door to Monkey Hell, this has put another 40 minutes on my journey, you peanut!" #mightyboosh #
"Do your job Howard, or I'm gonna be all over you like a Nun sandwich." #mightyboosh #
"The council does your hair!" #mightyboosh #
"It is at our most challenging times that we must cheat our hardest." #southpark #
Malcolm Tucker was the BBC's Bullying Mascot today! "Dont call me a bully, I'm so much worse than that!" #thethickofit http://bit.ly/aHkHAl #
National Bullying Helpline that attacked No10 is a firm that investigates bullying & patroned by Tories! Biased much? http://bit.ly/alXZup #
What is bullying? Is Gordon Ramsay a bully? or Alan Sugar? Malcolm Tucker? http://bit.ly/9DLwXQ #thethickofit #hellskitchen #theapprentice #
TACTICAL NUCLEAR PENGUIN, the world's strongest beer is launched today! 32%! As strong as whiskey, £30 a bottle! http://bit.ly/aBh78S #
Malcolm Tucker is BBC's Bullying Mascot! "Dont call me a bully, I'm so much worse than that!" #thethickofit http://bit.ly/aHkHAl @comagirlx #
http://twitpic.com/14r2oa – Malcolm Tucker was BBC's Bullying Mascot today!
"Dont call me a bully, I'm so much worse than that!" #thethick #
Had a gr8 weekend! Thanx Abi Alice Amanda Chris @dj_beard Hayley Hels James @jonno08 Matt Phil Scott Lorna @twistedwhistler Vic @waynetron! #
Space shuttle Endeavour lands in Florida at the end of it's 5.7 million mile journey to the International Space Station http://bit.ly/adTyqz #
@twitstedlilkitty I plan to walk trainlines if Zombies attack. Direct routes, fenced off, often elevated (bridges/viaducts). Avoid tunnels. #
@twistedlilkitty In what way have they changed Observer magazine? Thats what Big Ben, Blinky Ben, Bentally-ill has been advertising on TV. #
@markeverclear Yeah I know, it's watchably unwatchbble. Classic crap. But you know, I think it was highest grossing British movie that year! #
@mooncushion I'm going to the folks house for a roast. I look half human, hopefully a roast will make me feel it too. #
I've just met Robert Mills from Desmond Anderson! Back in the day… #
leyton_jay’s Tweets For Week Ending 2010-02-20: Spotted a few oldskool losers @ The Railway but assume most twats … http://bit.ly/cmP9VB #

leyton_jay’s Tweets For Week Ending 2010-02-20

Leyton — Sat, 20 Feb 2010 21:50:00 +0000

Spotted a few oldskool losers @ The Railway but assume most twats who used to drink here are dead/sectioned as they never here anymore. WIN! #
Jonno, the MAN, the MYTH, the LEGEND has suggested we all go for a carvery 2mrw afternoon. Up for it? @jonno08 @waynetron @philhd @scott014 #
Has been sent Death Sentence – BLU-RAY Version: http://LOVEFiLM.com/r/QQiF7kY #
Has been sent Interceptor: http://LOVEFiLM.com/r/QQiIw00 #
I assumed libraries to be full of boffins, but there's a lot of learning difficulty people here. Ironically, that they read more than me. #
"Who the fuck is this man, Tyron?" "It's a man with four fingers and a briefcase, Vinny." #snatch #
@willstartariot Whats up? #
Hitler's on telly again, shoutin about the Jews, he's always havin a go at them. I think he dislikes them. @comagirlx @pennyrobinson89 #
I want porn to be on my TV, but it's the wrong time of day! #fail #
Watched The Hangover: http://LOVEFiLM.com/r/QQyHkQE #
Watched Batteries Not Included: http://LOVEFiLM.com/r/QQzqBw #
Oh god! Just seen a Dalek rising up out of the Thames. Slightly scary! They love swimming… and genocide! #doctorwho #invasion2150 #
"I love homemade marmalade. My gran used to make amazing marmalade, but then she selfishly went and died." rt @Animalhouse35 #marmalade #lol #
@twistedlilkitty LOL, Paddington Bear: Marmalade Whore. Stop going on about this marmalade! I does want! Does your Mum sell it on eBay? x #
Had great night out on the piss wiv @dj_beard @TheeDragonfly @twistedwhistler. Hungover now, watchin oldschool Doctor Who: Invasion 2150 #
Live Eastenders in BBC1 in 5mins (8pm). Im actually a bit excited as I saw last nite's. Normally I dont give a toss @comagirlx #eastenders25 #
I'm quite excited about 2nite's Live Eastenders. Y'day was 1st time I've watched a whole episode in ages http://bit.ly/cmHvEw #eastenders25 #
@pennyrobinson89 Cool, have fun. I watched THE HANGOVER last night, normally find US comedy films a bit poo but this was brilliant! #
@pennyrobinson89 Cheese is good for building muscle. Do some sit ups and it'll be fine! Upto much tonight? I'm cooking Mexican! #
@pennyrobinson89 You cheese gannet! A devoured a load of Wensleydale with a glass of red wine last nite. But no dreams sadly. #
Ha, Dalai Lama LOL! http://bit.ly/bS4Cso Respect due to him though, he's a very nice man! #dalailama #lol #karma #
@twistedlilkitty I think I stole that book, that's sadder. Now I'm tweeting about it, worse. #
@twisted I think I stole that book, that's sadder. Now I'm tweeting about it, worse. #
Dalai Lama meets Obama to promote religious harmony & respect for others traditions/beliefs. No wonder China hates him! http://bit.ly/cN7ijt #
http://twitpic.com/144e1c – Batman is NOT ALWAYS available when Gotham City is in trouble. #batman @saschabriff @waynetron #
Got a haircut, paid cash in2 bank, paid phone bill+rent, ate a pastie all in lunch break. If I was that efficient at work I'd be CEO by now! #
Bitch in black Fiat Punto delayed my bus by 5mins thru shear ignorance. I wanted to drag her out myself & crush her windpipe, Vader-stylee. #
@beedgy Where you workin now? #
http://twitpic.com/143odk – Dalai Lama LOL. Respect due to him though, he's a very nice man! #dalailama #lol #karma #
My company Rentokil Initial reports record rise in profits but no dividend. Fair enough, we're still in uncertain times http://bit.ly/9zGV22 #
Excited that @TheeDragonfly is coming over for dinner and some drinks tonight! Yeayness! #
What Stormtroopers get up on their day off! http://bit.ly/9kWnq0 #starwars #
"Good luck to Team GB's Leaf-Blowing Squad in this year's Autumn Olympics!" rt @serafinowicz #
@gmk77x If you're talkin about The Thick of It USA; @aiannucci thought the pilot came out badly & declined to make a series #thethickofit #
LMAO at Star Wars Robot Chicken. "You will ride this unicycle everyhere you go! I've altered the deal, pray I dont alter it any further!" #
"If you want a guy disintegrated, get me integrated. That's my motto!" #robotchicken #starwars #bountyhunter #
Star Wars Robot Chicken Episode II is brilliant. As a massive Star Wars fan I can tell it's more of a tribute than a piss-take #robotchicken #
LMAO American Dad. Roger returns a tap of the nose signal by putting on a fake nose, taps it and takes it off again." Fucking genius! #
"Your spaceship vs. my spaceship. First one to the Crab Nebula gets the beers in." rt @Nathanfillon #
I don't really find American comedy films that funny, but I've just watched THE HANGOVER; it's absolutely brilliant! Seriously! #thehangover #
"Tiger's love pepper. They hate cinnamon!" #thehangover #
"I killed Archie Mitchell" @bakeroo @comagirlx #eastenders #
rt @realbillbailey "Revenge, the main ingredient in a Klingon Cookbook." #
Ooooop! That was a good slap! Took out a "fasand pand" worth of cake. #eastenders #
Shirley looks like Michael Jackson in that outfit. #eastenders #
@comagirlx Did you see the fat one estimating the value of the cake? I didnt know 'thousand' had an F in it. #eastenders #
@comagirl You know Ian Beale's going to serve up those naan breads even though they got knocked into the gutter. #eastenders #
Oooop! There's mince my fruit bowl. #
Any1 seen Blinky Ben on The Observer advert? I could hear him blinking from the kitchen. @comagirlx @markeverclear @scott014 #thethickofit #
I've been sighing a lot today. I feel quite down. Anyone got anything amusing to say? #
Rentokil Initial release a 2009 Preliminary Statement 2mrw. Dunno whats in it, but hoping for a share price increase! http://bit.ly/aee6BF #
Just done one of those musty farts that's only mildly unpleasant, but hangs around for ages making it seem like you don't wash your clothes. #
Today on Chris Moyles, Jay-Z revealed he's aware of Jedward. An amazed Comedy Dave said "how does he know who those high-headed idiots are?" #
Spotted some1 on Facebook who took the piss out of me during School & 6th Form. He's now really fat & even more ginger. Gutted! What a cunt. #
@carolinemytton Accidentally clicked Outlook icon recently. Strangled life out of my PC; lost 10 work mins. Cant believe I used it everyda! #
Oooh a load of funky statistics have appeared on my desk with big colourful numbers & tiny little letters. Thats just porn for typographers! #
@AdamBienkov http://twitpic.com/us0to – Besides being a hollow, meaningless gesture from a wonky-eyed racist, the logo is too close to the e #
@AdamBienkov http://twitpic.com/13re2i – @dj_alexander It's a Daily Mail FACT that every illegal immigrant in this country costs us all £17 #
Charlie Brooker from Newswipe shows us "How To Report The News" http://bit.ly/c8HVx8 @carolinemytton @scott014 @philhd @waynetron @jonno08 #
Hilarious video rant from Doug Stanhope "You think no-one cares about your opinion? They actually dont!" http://bit.ly/9xabOp #newswipe #
http://twitpic.com/13rfci – A Doug Stanhope / Newswipe Collage. Candy for satirical eyes! #
@Nighthood Yeah I'm now loving Doug Stanhope! Don't think he has any plans to tour the UK though …yet! #newswipe @dougstanhope #
rt @enhughesiasm "I know I'm getting predictable but… newswipe is *fantastic*. Best thing on tv. Good job @charltonbrooker" #
@nealcoghlan Agree, end scene on Newswipe was brilliant. Never thought I'd enjoy a nuclear explosion in the heart of London! @markeverclear #
@thethomasgill @jamestwknowles In our house we can't just say something is hot, we HAVE to say "it's hotter than the sun, Lynn!" @dj_beard #
Whats "tweet rape" all about? @ciarahinton RT @bmgioia "tweet·rape n. process of stalkin some1s followers to get more followers for oneself" #
@twistedlilkitty Mmmm… bukkake. Yes I was told to moderate my office humour today too. Humour Nazis out in full force today! #
@markeverclear @pennyrobinson89 In our house we can't just say something is hot, we HAVE to say "it's hotter than the sun, Lynn!" #
Oldschool Rave Track (with Robocop samples) by SILVER BULLET -> 20 SECONDS TO COMPLY http://bit.ly/cFPbb2 #robocop #ed209 #
http://twitpic.com/13qrb3 – I am highly animated today, but rather poorly. #
Obama announces two new US nuclear power stations. He makes a great case for investment in clean energy http://bit.ly/aKMm77 #
@mooncushion a cocktail called 'Amanda Sparkles' http://bit.ly/9WUsma #
Doug Stanhope ruined Newswipe. Not! Fantastic yet again. #newswipe #dougstanhope @dougstanhope @scott014 @philhd #
@carolinemytton Dunno why Microsoft bother, Outlook's such a dead-end and I got sick of hotmail years ago. Long live Googlemail! #
@yoghurteater I'm pleased other people notice cups eternally stuck on railings too, thought it was just me. #
@gkm77x Newswipe ruled. I'm hearing something about Oliver Postgate too. What was that? #newswipe #bagpuss #
@pennyrobinson89 http://twitpic.com/13o3zn – Is that better or worse than, "the dog ate my homework?" #
A climber fell into the crater of Mount St. Helens Volcano. Why was he there? Viewed from above that would've looked like a lazy suicide. #
Are we now refering to David Cameron as The Humanoid? Can we? Can we? Thank you @charltonbrooker! #newswipe @markeverclear @pennyrobinson89 #
Doug Stanhope ruined. Not! Fantastic yet again. #newswipe #dougstanhope @scott014 @philhd #
Are we now refering to David Cameron as The Humanoid? Oh please, lets! Thank you @charltonbrooker! #newswipe @comagirlx @twistedlilkitty #
"Hoon huffed and set off on foot to his nearest home." Brilliant. #newswipe #timkey @pennyrobinson89 @scott014 #
"in the search for John Terry, helicopter cameras zoomed in on any car that looked like it might be driven by an adulterer." #newswipe #
Bloke rules? Only bloke rules I know are "what happens in Amsterdam stays in in Amsterdam" and a similar one about Blackpool. #newswipe #
"Sport belongs in a News report as much as a mummified cat's dead belongs in a salad." #newswipe #
Viewer opinion pie charts should just be "a giant pizza pie of I Have No Earthly Opinion!" #newswipe #
"the News' addiction to broadcasting live gets right on my Booba-majugs!" #newswipe #
BNP will now admit wankers of any colour! #newswipe #
I missed Newswipe as Kel was watching The Devil Wears Prada. Thank god for iPlayer! #
I blow dried my hair at the gym and now I look like a Shabby Wolferine. #
Newswipe is on BBC4 10.30pm! Tonight… John Terry, expenses, other things! #newswipe #doughstanhope #shitpeas @charltonbrooker #
Just seen a hot MILF with her fit daughter. Couldn't decide which one I wanted most… thats when my mind started to get REALLY DIRTY! #
Barbie's been re-invented as a computer geek with binary dress & pink laptop! http://bit.ly/c9BZlx @twistedlilkitty @comagirlx @casshoskins #
Has been sent Robot Chicken – Star Wars Episode 2: http://LOVEFiLM.com/r/QQiH820 #
Has been sent The Hangover: http://LOVEFiLM.com/r/QQiHkQE #
Complained to my FACIST landlord about bars on my windows & piss-stains on carpet! He said "What have you done to my house? I want you OUT!" #
I dont like Delia Smiths website! Ingredients list at the bottom!? Too many blue links & too many columns http://bit.ly/afddEs Sorry Delia. #
Going to the Railway in Crawley this Sat night for a charity gig for British Heart Foundation, featuring @waynetron. #acousticwayne #bhf #
Drinking a yoghurt, for want of a spoon. #
Meteorite older than the sun is found to contain organic compounds, the building blocks of life. http://bit.ly/aUHu52 #
International Space Station gets a viewing gallery! New Tranquility module contains largest space-window ever! http://bit.ly/9XzJou #iss #
Watched Moon – BLU-RAY Version: http://LOVEFiLM.com/r/QQyIpHc #
Watched The Haunting in Connecticut: http://LOVEFiLM.com/r/QQyHpi4 #
http://twitpic.com/13k85x – Jigsaw Puzzle Fail. You're doing it wrong! #fail #jigsaw #
Great BBC video about BLACK HOLES, from the documentary SPACE. Gravity gone mad! http://bit.ly/8ZOYyK #bbc #blackhole #cosmology #gravity #
Scientists who got ants from around world to fight, discovered global mega-colony. Did they place bets? http://bit.ly/9cPGpx @rentokil #iyb #
"Sick ants walk away from a colony and die alone, rather than risk infecting others" a new study has found http://bit.ly/bWCxyF @rentokil #
Vodaphone launches world's cheapest phone to bring medical advice and banking services to people in developing nations http://bit.ly/cGr1WR #
Last nite was Nightmare-Central in my head. I'm so tired! Just need to load the CMS up with content today & get home in time for #Newswipe! #
He's admitted politics is just "spewing jism in public" but do we accept it? No, we just weep like teased vaginas. #brasseye #chrismorris #
Engaging in a fit of anarchic clothes-less-ness. #chrismorris #brasseye #
"Captain Bruge! Why are you being GAY with your men? We have footage of you gobbling a gun like a man's part!" #chrismorris #brasseye #
"93% of the wounds sustained at sea thru Naval battles are to the penis." #chrismorris #brasseye #
"So, you've got BAD AIDS, not GOOD AIDS?! You shouldn't have come here! Can we have this man removed, please?" #chrismorris #brasseye #
Prison-Speak: "Portillo!" means "look out behind you!" #chrismorris #brasseye #
"As a boy I went into the Bank of England dressed up as a little City gent, shouting FUCK THE POUND." #brasseye #chrismorris #
"The Police spotted his body by accident while they were looking for a man who'd buggered a heron." #brasseye #chrismorris #
Watching BRASS EYE for umpteenth time, the Drugs episode! It's on TV Choice On Demand, Virgin Media. Still hilarious! #brasseye #chrismorris #
"If political correctness has done 1 thing; it made the Torys cloak their inherent racism behind more creative language" #ivenevervotedtory #
New Tory Poster proofs of their new campaign http://www.mydavidcameron.com/tory/ thanks @comagirlx #ivenevervotedtory #
There's a man on America's Next Top Model called Benny Ninja. #
Recipe: Monster Munch Soup. Pour Monster Munch into a soup (any flavour). Eat. http://bit.ly/9ZzHaY #fistoffun #peterbaynham #leeandherring #
Idiotic terrorist sketch from Chris Morris new Jihad comedy film, Four Lions. It's taking Cannes by storm! http://bit.ly/9KFlcP #chrismorris #
THE WILL TO FAIL composed by 1950s psychiatrist after working with some BIG losers! http://bit.ly/c6Mtk5 This sums up some1 I know. #fail #
Industrial Revolution was simply carboniferous capitalism, Britain was geologically lucky. HOW THE EARTH MADE US http://bit.ly/bG9d3M #bbc #
Chinese invented stir-fry as an alternative to stewing during a 16th century wood shortage. HOW THE EARTH MADE US http://bit.ly/bG9d3M #bbc #
World's 1st ENERGY CRISIS was at end of 16th century when Europe began to run out of wood. HOW THE EARTH MADE US http://bit.ly/bG9d3M #bbc #
World's 1st ENERGY CRISIS was at end of 16th century when Europe began to run out of wood. HOW THE EARTH MADE US http://bit.ly/bG9d3M #bbc #
Why do we adorn ourselves in pieces of Earth's crust, ie diamonds? Humans love geological bling! HOW THE EARTH MADE US http://bit.ly/bG9d3M #
Fire needs a minimum of 13% oxygen to burn, I'm loving HOW THE EARTH MADE US! Watching Fire episode on iPlayer! http://bit.ly/bG9d3M #bbc #
Grrr! I have just joined @yoghurteater in shakin my fist at Mondays! When can we stop getting buses and start beaming directly to work? #
@yoghurteater Seagulls eating sick, mmmm the joys of Brighton. #
Set my radio alarm to wake me up with World's Greatest BBC Radio One for the 1st time in 18months. Forgotten how great Chris Moyles Show is! #
@abbiedays Depends to which pair of cheeks you're refering! Could be excess doughnut glazing or sexual, either way a statement of fact? #
@pennyrobinson89 At least you were constructive! I had an odd day with singletons, as couples sicken me on this day; 90% of planet it seems. #
@pennyrobinson89 http://twitpic.com/13b1xm – Well, I never knew what an Operon was, until now. #
My Skybox's full of programs about Hitler. He's being recorded faster than I can watch him! 55yrs later, still going strong! @georns @philhd #
Ignorance is a weapon, use it! Don't generalise about women, women don't like that, generally. #alanparker #simonmunnery #
My fingers are fishy. #
I want to Dial-A-Whore but I don't have a menu and 118 118 were no help! #
If you dont have a Valentine today why not celebrate St. Skeletor's Day 2mrw? Find out more… http://bit.ly/d5uPHL @markeverclear @scott014 #
HOW THE EARTH MADE US is my new favourite documentary series. It is of course made by the mighty BBC! Check it out on iPlayer! #bbc #
@pennyrobinson89 Sure you look better than me! I wore old clothes to help @twistedwhistler move then visited Mum. My attire did not impress! #
Without wanting to reinforce any racial stereotypes there genuinely is a delicious smell of curry in Langley Green tonight! #
without reinforce any stereotypes, but there a genuinely delicious smell of curry in the whole of Langley Green at the moment #
@yoghurteater Not busy doing Valentines stuff? Just a normal day for me, just buying milk at Sainsbury's now #
This week on WHAT KATIE DID NEXT, Katie Price realises she's a despised whore & puts a shotgun in her greedy, manipulative, spiteful mouth. #
"Jesus is cool, it's just the people who follow him who are fucking idiots. He's like The Fonz in that respect." @markeverclear @herring1967 #
I've got a lovely romantic day planned on my own… Syphillis, laudanum, drowning. RT @jeremylimb @georns #
I'm full of sausages & I'm happy… in my stomach I mean, not my anus. I dont find that pleasurable. Why would you think that? You're sick! #
St. Valentine, the patron saint of making sad and lonely single people feel like shit. #
@aiannucci Russell Brand shouldn't be allowed to leave the UK, he's too much of an national embarassment. #
@bakeroo Go back to bed then! I've got up to make tea, them I'm going back to bed to watch Alien3. #
@pennyrobinson89 Lovin your new pic! Effervescent Vit C rules, once did 6 Berroca in 1hit; 1min of insane giggling then instantly dozed off #
My Valentines @comagirlx @georns @theedragonfly @pennyrobinson89 @ciarahinton All very lovely and amusing ladies! x #
In Rise of The Nutters, is Julius sniffing a cling-film wrapped Sandwich? Feeling the weft and sniffing the waft. #thethickofit @comagirlx #
In Rise of The Nutters, is Julius sniffing a cling-film wrapped Sandwich? Feeling the weft and adn sniffing the waft. #thethickofit #
@comagirlx Awwww, when are you 21? Malcolm's cake rules. #thethickofit in reply to comagirlx #
"You're the shittest James Bond ever. You're fucking David Niven!" #thethickofit #
"The cameramen are laughing!" [at Ben's blinking] #thethickofit #
Now trying again to find a large picture of Peter Mannion to make my own face-mask. To no avail #thethickofit #
"He might look like a Womble, but he's got nutter-eyes and nutter-ears." #thethickofit #
Watching #thethickofit with @scott014 and discussing Terri's complete non-accountability. #
Watching CHUCKLEVISION On Demand. Oh dear. They look like an aged Downs Syndrome & his taller, slightly more independent friend. #retards #
Give me the number for fucking Tim, in fucking Ruislip! #thethickofit #
leyton_jay’s Tweets For Week Ending 2010-02-13: @gkm77x Yeah, I've been told Happy Gilmore is the only good Adam S… http://bit.ly/9Hsj0f #

leyton_jay’s Tweets For Week Ending 2010-02-13

Leyton — Sat, 13 Feb 2010 21:50:00 +0000

@gkm77x Yeah, I've been told Happy Gilmore is the only good Adam Sandler movie. #
Watchin a film where Adam Sandler has cancer, sadly its not a true story. I really dont find him funny, he's quite predictable. Sorry. #
Watching Horizon: To Infinity and Beyond. How come infinity+1 is still infinity, but infinity-1 is a number we can't define? Brilliant! #bbc #
I'm playin Super Mario Bros Wii, it's amazin! I'm an original NES kid; loved Mario 1, 2 & 3! Such a natural progression. I hated Mario in 3D #
Ello. How are you? I need a shave. #
@comagirlx Get well soon, darling! x #
rt @RealDavidMitchell Slightly upset @Cheesoid, a robot in a sketch I wrote isn't even following me. Hate self! Hate self! @dj_beard #
@sophiadehayes Qwertyioup! Lets not start all that again. x #
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall. Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. All the King's horses & all the King's men said "Fuck him, he's only an egg!" #
Finally drinkin and havin a good laugh in Brighton! Long live Rentokil Initial Development! #
Just arrived in Brighton, I'm so not in a drinking mood Last 6 Fridays I've just wanted 2b left-the-fuck-alone! I so need a girlfriend! #
@yoghurteater Where are you headed? I just left Gatwick on a train bound for Brighton. Everyone is asleep on my train. #
@yoghurteater Yeay! Thanks! Dinner! #
rt @nickjfrost "Fabreeze is NOT deodorant!" #
Happy Birthday Charles Darwin! Only just realised, thanks @pennyrobinson89 #darwin #evolution #iyb #
@twistedlilkitty Fuckity? As in "Ok, fuckity-bye!" #thickofit #
@carolinemytton Libya going Arabic is it? They dont tell me anything. I wanted to work on that. #
Going Brighton 2nite on budget of… fuck all. Hope to find some discarded crumbs by the bins. If I'm lucky I'll get to down the drip-tray. #
Family Guy Video: When Mario Rescues The Princess And Expects To Get Lucky http://bit.ly/byyU3p @dj_beard @waynetron @twistedwhistler #
Rusko 'Cockney Thug Mix with samples of Bricktop with Snatch! Thanks to Lewis Carter for getting me into Rusko. http://bit.ly/9qS2eG #rusko #
Bill Clinton in good spirits after heart op. UN Special Envoy to Haiti returns soon to help relief efforts. Great work Bill! #
Mr Men are 40yrs old, originally 6 books sold at 20p each, now a huge global brand. Short video about their beginnings http://bit.ly/cwdQE6 #
It's Chris' time again. After I recharged my fone it asked date/time 2:22 AGAIN! Since he said it was his time, events keep occurring @ 2:22 #
@abbiedays Post a pic of these brilliant thighs then. Will definately get you more followers! Plus, you've peaked my interest now! #
@abbiedays Katie Price; obscene attention-whore. Her life's a planned media strategy. I hate her so much, I dont even wank off to her now! #
A Cancer-Boy is dying on TV, does that carbon offset my next holiday? #stanhope #newswipe @soundcanvasdjs @scott014 @philhd @charltonbrooker #
Dont eat brocolli, its another word for caviar & thats another word for Facism! Beware of dustman, they are agents of the State! #alanparker #
1000s govermment funded buildings in UK that contain & gather vast amounts of information! LIBRARIES! Another word for Fascism! #alanparker #
RT Joe Gadd "If Einstein had a DJ name it'd be MC Squared." #
Upsetting trailer: MY SISTER'S KEEPER. A girl with cancer; beautiful but upsettin! But I only decided not to watch 'cos Alec Baldwin's in it #
Pffft. Lonely. #
@charlikins69 Got twitter nailed yet then? Set up an account at http://www.bit.ly to shorten links and twitpic.com to post pics wiv a tweet. x #
@charlikins69 Hello! Welcome! #
Has been sent Batteries Not Included: http://LOVEFiLM.com/r/QQjqBw #
Watched Stephen King's IT: http://LOVEFiLM.com/r/QQyEhw0 #
Officer Barbrady has CRIMES and NOT-CRIMES written on his IN and OUT tray. #southpark #
Drive-By Abuser: Football "Kickin a little ball in a net & havin a hug about it? Hardly fuckin Chess is it?!" #moderntoss @soundcanvasdjs #
Drive-By Abuser: Football "Kickin a little ball in a net & havin a hug about it? Hardly fuckin Chess is it?!" #moderntoss @soundcanvasdj #
"I used to throw a electric fire into my bath. But now I cant incase queers see it. Its Political Correctness gone mad!" #stewartlee @philhd #
I used to jump in a threshing machine my arms flew off but I was fine. Now they've banned Xmas! Political correctness gone mad @krelleishere #
"It's Political Correctness gone mad! You can't even write racist abuse in excrement in public anymore." #stewartlee #
#justwatched Stewart Lee: 41st Best Stand Up. Almost went to Pestival dressed as insect. Best live stand up I ever saw @rentokil #stewartlee #
Beware of MONKEYPOX! Monkey virus that can jump to humans. Occasionally going human-to-human. Big in Congo! The new smallpox if it mutates! #
A White Fly less than 1mm long carries 100+ plant viruses; causes epic crop damage globally. Horizon: Why Do Viruses Kill? @rentokil #virus #
Wow! Viruses drive life in the oceans!Control populations, cause rot & chemical transformation. 30billion in 1pint of seawater #iyb #horizon #
Wow! Viruses drive all life in the oceans!Control populations, causing rot & chemical transformation. 30 billion viruses in 1 pint of se … #
Spock is in FRINGE! Sex-wee. #
Will phones contain scanners or sensors one day? Is water safe to drink? Diagnose medical problems? #smartphone #n96 #
In FRINGE they use an iphone app to analyse a recording. Are smartphones our Star Trek Tricorders? #startrek #fringe #iphone #
Chuck Norris can lick his own elbow. #chucknorris #
Chuck Norris is the reason Wally is still hiding. #chucknorris #
Chuck Norris took that bite out of the Apple Mac logo. #chucknorris #
Chuck Norris wear shades to protect the sun from his eyes. #chucknorris #
Chuck Norris puts the "laughter" in "manslaughter". #chucknorris #
Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there. #chucknorris #
If you have £5, and Chuck Norris has £5, Chuck Norris has more money than you. #chucknorris #
Chuck Norris doesn't breathe, he holds air hostage. #chucknorris #
Windows 7 was Chuck Norris' idea. #chucknorris #
Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door. #chucknorris #
Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in three moves. #chucknorris #
Normal people pee their name into snow, Chuck Norris the same thing on the pavement. #chucknorris #
A dinosaur once pissed off Chuck Norris. Have you seen any dinosaurs recently? #chucknorris #
Chuck Norris can drown a fish. #chucknorris #
When Chuck Norris plays Monopoly, it affects the actual world economy. #chucknorris #
Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table because he only recognises the element of surprise. #chucknorris #
The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain. #chucknorris #
Has been sent Moon – BLU-RAY Version: http://LOVEFiLM.com/r/QQiIpHc #
Just when you thought you could have YOUR profile pic set to whatever YOU wanted, the Avatar-Nazis arrive & try to Corporatise Profile Pics. #
Climate change will make world more 'fragrant' as plants release odours to communicate & defend themselves. http://bit.ly/9zy5bB @rentokil #
Just changed my Google Profile because the old URL gave away my email address here's new link.. http://bit.ly/bJFF5w #
I have Google Buzz. A bit rubbish but it includes Google Profile! Automatically linked to my twitter, flickr, blog etc http://bit.ly/aHI3xL #
Plan to make UK leader in Space Technology, creating a $40bn a year industry. http://bit.ly/b3UQQS #
When a shaking, messy homeless person asks for 20p for a cup of tea, say "No, look what its done to you!" http://bit.ly/a1eH5y #alanparker #
Watched Akira – Digitally Remastered: http://LOVEFiLM.com/r/QQyBnXs #
Next time a fat person blames their glands, tell them to stop eating glands! Alan Parker's 29mins of Truth! http://bit.ly/a1eH5y #alanparker #
NASA launches new Solar Dynamics Observatory today to get keener understandin Sun's behaviour & forecast Space Weather http://bit.ly/cTJpmL #
CERN publishes 1st results from Large Hadron Collider. Finding Higgs-Boson maybe harder than first thought http://bit.ly/9rUnEx #lhc #cern #
Stephen Fry talks about Twitter and how it helped him when he had a Bat loose in his house… http://bit.ly/93zOz7 @rentokil #stephenfry #
Sarah Palin tries to look cool by writin notes on her hand. You're not a comedian Sarah! Politicians are allowed notes! http://bit.ly/djNpH9 #
MTV Mexico under fire as it pulls South Park episode http://bit.ly/bQrgI0 #southpark #mtv #mexico @scott014 @philhd #
@carolinemytton Post a photo of the snow! I hear Lithuania suffers covert cyber-attacks from Russia as their infrastructure's still Russian #
Er. Vanessa Feltz is on BBC Breakfast. She is nasty, shouting mouth, thing. She's always really rude to the anchor that introduces her. #bbc #
Captain Phil Harris of Deadliest Catch has died after a recent stroke. RIP Phil Harris http://bit.ly/c3ksr3 #
@yoghurteater We call it the Sheath. And yes, it is criminally boring. in reply to yoghurteater #
I'm not being racist, but isnt it annoying when really good Twitter trends are mostly in foreign languages?!? Go back to bed Mexico! #
I'm not being racist, but isnt it annoying when really good Twitter trends are mostly in foreign languages?!? #
Are there any tweets about CHUCK NORRIS that aren't in Spanish? Chuck Norris will go to Mexico and kick your asses for crashing his trend! #
Abortion is green. #newswipe #dougstanhope #
@abbiedays Are you a fellow Grammer-Nazi? I fuss over spellin punctuation & grammar in texts. I even break into paragraphs for easy reading. in reply to abbiedays #
@LucyAnnabel Hows it going anyway? #
@abbiedays I despise Facebook, use it cos I have to! But only use Facebook Mobile now… no ads, no apps, no chat, no shit. Quick & simple. in reply to abbiedays #
@abbiedays Hopefully it'll talk to twitter/fb. Google's all about openness, I think it's a tool for connecting things not a seperate app. in reply to abbiedays #
@pigsonthewing I know some people are so thick. in reply to pigsonthewing #
#4wordsaftersexinWestminster That answered my question! #
Now that's a WMD #4wordsaftersexinWestminster #
Doug Stanhope is right. Earth's heading for a population crisis! One day we'll have to have a license for a baby like in Starship Troopers! #
@deedelvis Global population will become a problem. Almost tripled in 60yrs. BBC show HOW MANY PEOPLE CAN LIVE ON EARTH was quite terrifyin! in reply to deedelvis #
#4wordsaftersexinWestminster What's your position, Darling? #
@worgztheowl: put that in Hansard! #4wordsaftersexinWestminster #
#4wordsaftersexinWestminster Order! Order! Order! Order! #
#4wordsaftersexinWestminster "So THAT'S back benching" #
"That mirrored ceiling? Expenses!" #4wordsaftersexinWestminster #
#4wordsaftersexinWestminster Put this on expenses #
#skyatnight I'm willing to bet Patrick Moore stinks of biscuits and piss. #
#skyatnight How many clothes how Patrick Moore want to wear. He looks like he's wearing his entire wardrobe for a bet. #
#4wordsaftersexinWestminster "Right, who is next?" #
#4wordsaftersexinWestminster "I am not amused" #
@X_Hodge_X Hello, didn't know you had a twitter! #
@LucyAnnabel So you're saying mass adoration? Like mass hysteria! Silly womens. in reply to LucyAnnabel #
@Georns Glad to hear it. This guy was a total cock, I swear if I acted like that everyone woulda called me a twat and I woulda been banned. in reply to Georns #
@abbiedays Have you got it? I want it. Hopefully it'll link to facebook and twitter. in reply to abbiedays #
@sophiadehayes Tut fucking tut. I hereby throw you out of Newswipe club. x in reply to sophiadehayes #
"Abortion is green!" #newswipe @comagirlx @saschabriff @scott014 @pennyrobinson89 @philhd @georns #
If you dont have a baby, you could drive a fleet of Hummers! Abortion is green! #newswipe #
By 2050 fucking will go out of style… #stanhope #newswipe #
Doug Stanhope is so right. I often worry about over-population. Seriously! #newswipe #
#stanhope #newswipe #
Hair-raising! lol #newswipe #
OMG, a typical old man, terribly boring. #newswipe #
Do you drive a Turta? #newswipe #
The phrase "helped by Rupert Murdoch" is a politcal death-sentance. #newswipe #
Ah! Nixon! Scary! #newswipe #
Simon Cowell is a slobering power hungry super-cunt. Kill him immediately. #newswipe #
Could the X-Factor have Military Applications? #newswipe #
Just Jabba a chance! #newswipe #
"Soft, pink, easily burnt to death babies!" #newswipe #
Did Marr accuse Brown of popping pills like fucking Smints? #newswipe #thethickofit #
I can tell you're never satisfied, look at the fucking size of you, you fat cunt. #newswipe #
I like Blair, I think the cunt Richard Madely supporting him actually undermines him #newswipe #
"Blair's hand quivered so much, he shook all the blood off them." #newswipe #
"Specialist Subject: Denying War Crimes Without Giggling" #newswipe #
The planet Thatchalos! #newswipe #
Speak thru Max Clifford? WTF? #newswipe #
Newswipe! In 10, 9, 8, 7, 6…. #newswipe #
Ladies I ask that cos this tard of a man @ gym whose more likely to eat a calculator than use it has every woman in room droolin over him. #
Ladies, can you tell me if HUGE muscles make up for dangerously low IQ on a man? So low infact that he's running backwards on a treadmill! #
Newswipe tonight! In mean time, here's a video of Brooker & Shitpeas! #charliebrooker #shitpeas #screenwipe #newswipe http://bit.ly/9yNpMF #
Alan Parker is on your side! …..and the side of anyone who wears glasses, is fat, is a woman or… list goes on! http://bit.ly/a1eH5y #
Alan Parker: Urban Warrior answers the phone by saying "Hello, Unite & Fight" and ends with "Goodbye, Smash The System" http://bit.ly/a1eH5y #
"Animals are treated badly, some are forced to live on the inside of pies." #alanparker http://bit.ly/a1eH5y @ciarahinton @pennyrobinson89 #
"In Oct I head-butted Parliament. In Nov, Thatcher resigned. Think about it." Alan Parker's 29 Mins of Truth http://bit.ly/a1eH5y @comagirlx #
http://twitpic.com/127nfv – Amazing tax disc holder! We need these in Crawley now we have a Tory council. @dj_beard @waynetron @scott014 #
"Beware of dustmen! They are agents of the state!" Alan Parker's 29 Mins of Truth http://bit.ly/a1eH5y #podcast #alanparker @scott014 #
"Beware of hospitals. They are prisons for the sick!" Alan Parker's 29 Mins of Truth http://bit.ly/a1eH5y #podcast #alanparker @philhd #
http://twitpic.com/127azz – "Geek unveils most expensive rectangle in history" Newswipe! 2nite 22:30 BBC4 http://bit.ly/dzEGMf #ipad @swerve #
Next generation of phone will have pressure sensitive touch screens based on Quantum Tunnelling material invented in UK http://bit.ly/badzUN #
@pennyrobinson89 You listened to The Beatles for the first time? So is it now just me who has never really listened to any of their stuff? #
"Cheater Mannion" #thethickofit @scott014 #
"They're playing fuckin pin-the-cock-on-the-fucking-donkey's-face with your face there, cos you're the fuckin donkey!" #thethickofit #
"That's not a plan is it, Stan? That's not an agenda, Brenda!" #thethickofit @comagirlx #
"I know about your meeting with that ageing fucking flamanco guitarist. YOU'RE NOT to go home. I want you at No.10 ASAFP" #thethickofit #
@comagirlx Not seen #ashestoashes, is it the 80s Life on Mars? Watchin Mannion's visit to DoSAC now. I want a Mannion mask! #thethickofit in reply to comagirlx #
"What's the weather like at The Guardian? How do we counter-massage?… Graphicise and three-dimensionalise our response." #thethickofit #
"I will tear your fuckin skin off, I will wear it to your Mother's Birthday Party & I will rub your nuts up and down her leg." #thethickofit #
"I will come down on you so hard you'll have to be re-assembled by fucking aircrash investigators." #thethickofit #
"It's the pre-match spar for big Super-Gay Weight Title Fight! Wipe away the pre-cum!" #thethickofit #
"Hang-on, there's a complete fucking penis in my office I have to have a word with…." #thethickofit #
"Some guy just made contact. Looks like an Ewok, small patch of grey hair on left temple" #thethickofit #
I need a Peter Mannion Face-mask! Please post a JPG or a PDF or soemthing somewhere. @chrisaddison @rebeccafront @aianucci @scott014 #
"[Phil's seeing the big swinging dicks] Ok, but don't forget the tiny static dicks" #thethickofit #
"Knowledge is Porridge" #thethickofit #
"I don't care if you have to inject yourselves with stem cells or put cocaine in your fruit-corners, get on with something! #thethickofit #
"It's the Chavs and Chav-nots" #thethickofit #
"…a playground full of first trimester pregnancies and Croydon-Facelifts." #thethickofit #
Ha, Phil dressed up as Cher?! #thethickofit #
"I don't give two shits of a lamb's tail. She'll just have to postpone her throat surgery!" #thethickofit #
"I'm very keen to use Stuart's mouth as an ashtray; doesn't mean I'm gonna do it." #thethickofit #
Twitter三国志….. means what? #
"I thought you can only get made-over like that at a Gay-Undertakers" #thethickofit #
"Can you give me a call? If you don't, I'll have you thrown in Bellmarsh." #thethickofit #
"Collection of geriatric shoemakers" is Civil Service slang for "A load of old cobblers" #yesminister #
Lesbian Mind Control! FRINGE is officially awesome. #fringe #
@chaltonbrooker We want more Barry Shitpeas in #newswipe! Retweet if you agree! @comagirlx @pennyrobinson89 @markeverclear #
OMG, Walter in #FRINGE once created a snake with giant tarantula legs! They only showed a sketch of it but even that scared shit outta me! #
Aw! FRINGE is now officially awesome. Guy who was crippled Prof in Resident Evil 2 just teleported out of a High-Security German Prison! #
@comagirlx Oh you mean Die Hard 3. Yeah that was good, different, but good. #
I ate an entire large Dominoes BBQ Pizza to myself! I'm officially a fat cunt. Now watching FRINGE season 1, about half-way through. #fringe #
Brilliant video by the BBC about living on Mars, with a catchy sound track! Narrated by Sam Neil, only 9mins long! http://bit.ly/aq29C8 #bbc #
Has been sent The Haunting in Connecticut: http://LOVEFiLM.com/r/QQiHpi4 #
It's Snowing at City Place, headquarters of Rentokil Initial http://bit.ly/dBUlQ8 #
My recording of Rammstein performing Engel live @ Birmingham LG Arena 03/02/10 http://bit.ly/dvrDq6 @jonno08 @dj_beard @saschabriff @philhd #
Oh great. It's pissing down with rain. Good morning. #
They found Shackleton's Whiskey under the ice over 100 yrs after his expedition to the pole. I bet that tastes amazing! http://bit.ly/9VpCut #
Drive-By Abuser considers Football "Kickin a little ball in a net & having a kiss & hug about it? Hardly fucking Chess is it?!" #moderntoss #
As if I wasn't horny enough is it is… Samantha Janus (circa 1997) is on TV. Must… take… eyes… off… screen… too fit! #gameon #
@comagirlx Jeremy Irons? This Akira we're talkin about? Does he do a voice-over? We watched it in Japanese with subtitles. #
Watching Akira, fell asleep last time so this is all new to me! Literally the 1st Manga film I've ever seen. Lovin it so far! #manga #akira #
I'm watching Akira again, but fell asleep last time so this is all new to me. Literally the first Manga film I've ever seen. Lovin it so … #
@madmerdoc "O Brother Wall-Mart Thou?" #supermarketmovies lol, approve! in reply to madmerdoc #
@abbiedays I preferred "Faecal Juice" #arsefilms in reply to abbiedays #
@comagirlx Chemistry: A Volatile History – FTW! in reply to comagirlx #
#arsefilms "Lord of the Rings" #
@abbiedays Nice profile pic by the way! #gorgeousredhead #
#arsefilms "Sin Shitty" #
rt @abbiedays "Poop Fiction" #arsefilms Why didn't I think of that! #
#arsefilms "Night at the Perineum" #
#arsefilms "The Curious Case of Benjamin's Bottom" #
#arsefilms "Dump & Dumper" #
#arsefilms "One flew over the PooPoo's Nest" #
#arsefilms "A Fistfull of Shit" #
#arsefilms "RoboPlop" #
#arsefilms "Incontinence Day" #
#arsefilms "The Hole" #
#arsefilms "Enema Of The State" #
#arsefilms "Sphincters List" #
#arsefilms "FaecalJuice" #
A Bag For Life Less Ordinary #supermarketmovies #
#arsefilms "The X-Piles" #
#supermarketmovies The Madness Of King George At ASDA #
#supermarketmovies "Asda World Turns" #
#supermarketmovies Beverly Hills Co-op #
Gave Akira Collection 4.0 stars: http://LOVEFiLM.com/r/QRC2Ew #
Gave The Invisible 2.0 stars: http://LOVEFiLM.com/r/QRCFyGI #
Gave Stephen King's IT 3.5 stars: http://LOVEFiLM.com/r/QRCEhw0 #
@pennyrobinson89 What you been upto other than hanging out with David Mitchell look-a-likes? in reply to pennyrobinson89 #
@pennyrobinson89 Definitely the tastiest! Don't often use my knowledge of Comp-Sci or Nuclear Physics in cooking in reply to pennyrobinson89 #
@comagirlx Aw, Die Hard on again? Grr! We're already recording too much stuff. Been wantin to watch it for months, someone's stolen my copy! in reply to comagirlx #
@pennyrobinson89 Wasnt exactly a tip! Which flavour of Science do you study? I did 3months of Physics BSc then changed to Computer Science. in reply to pennyrobinson89 #
@pennyrobinson89 You could make a fortune as an alt-whore and the Police would NEVER suspect. in reply to pennyrobinson89 #
@pennyrobinson89 Yeah but your alternative look is far more attractive to me than what whores look like. They look dirty & full of AIDS! in reply to pennyrobinson89 #
@ciarahinton Have fun at La Pub. I just got back from the gym & made hottest chilli burger sauce ever. Sweating more now than at the gym! in reply to ciarahinton #
@MarkEverclear lol "As Seinfeld and his life partner argue over the cleanliness of a pear." in reply to MarkEverclear #
#justwatched Seinfeld, The Outing. http://bit.ly/d830NS "So, you wont take your coat off and now everyone at NYU thinks I'm gay?!" #seinfeld #
#justwatched one of my fav episodes of Seinfeld, The Outing. http://bit.ly/d830NS "…not that there's anything wrong with it!!" #seinfeld #
@MarkEverclear Really? My brain has this image stored in place of Adam West's real-face http://bit.ly/c8edGx #
@MarkEverclear "Catch us again tomorrow, same bat-time, same bat-channel!" in reply to MarkEverclear #
@Twistedlilkitty Yeah I can see it. Cool how it shows the wave-form! in reply to Twistedlilkitty #
Does anyone else find Nokia N96 incredibly unreliable & slow? My problem is SIM card moving around in the holder so I lose signal. #n96 #
@MarkEverclear What makes you think I care about Al Jolson? in reply to MarkEverclear #
I will get dressed today. I will. I know I've sat here in my pants for hours watching rubbish TV, but I will get dressed…..I will. #
@pennyrobinson89 Tea cups should be washed first! Just so you know! in reply to pennyrobinson89 #
England are in group G with Switzerland, Bulgaria, Wales and Montenegro in the Euro 2012 draw. #euro2012 #england @jonno08 #
England are in group G with Switzerland, Bulgaria, Wales and Montenegro in the Euro 2012 draw. #euro2012 #england #
@mattleys @tomtomlyden As a totally unrelated statement of fact… Emma Watson is a super-hot female. Just needed to be said. #
Liz Jones; The Daily Mail's Super-Cunt Extraordinaire! You're not talking to my Nan now Liz, you have to at least try to make sense! #
@ellenyu88 Just seen your Murryfield tweet. Enjoy your day, I like you're profile pic, you're a hottie! #
Just upgraded to Firefox 3.5.7. I hear Firefox 3.6 is the next big thing. Whats that all about? #firefox #
http://twitpic.com/11w5ls – I'm watching #Seinfeld. Julia Louis-Dreyfus & Terri Hatcher are wearing not much in the gym. FTW! http://bit.ly/ #
@CassHoskins Airbeds are a total illusion. Only good for festivals because they can be folded down really small. Why you sleepin on one? in reply to CassHoskins #
OMG, Jigsaw from SAW is in Seinfeld. A grumpy Record store owner. #saw #seinfeld #
RIP Franco Ballerini. Italian cycle coach killed in rallying accident. He himself won the Paris-Roubaix classic twice http://bit.ly/aSfAX4 #
RIP Johnny Dankworth. Sir John Dankworth, a mainstay of the British jazz scene for over 60 years, has died. http://bit.ly/aqoXqV #
Margaret Ritchie is the new leader of the SDLP. The first major party in Ireland to elect a woman leader. http://bit.ly/crwR6N #
rt @jimmycarr on #QI "A barber asks a man how he'd like his hair cut. 'In silence' he replies" #
rt @Mkrkenya_normal "Even hardened political spin doctors have a heart. Cry and move on Alastair Campbell. Life has to go on." #
Alastair Campbell cried on Andrew Marr's show? Worse than Malcolm Tucker's "Nile of Shit" meltdown? http://bit.ly/9yS4Y7 #thethickofit #
@markeverclear Myself & @dj_beard saw Rammstein on wed, he's hoarse from screamin "I am him!" in moshpits night! lol #kevineldon #fistoffun #
I'm off to bed now, my eyes are threatening to burst from being open so long. Good night tweeps! @Twistedlilkitty #
@Twistedlilkitty Well I'm glad you're still awake. Your tweets amused me on the long cold walk home from @TheeDragonfly's house! #
@Twistedlilkitty Well I'm glad you're still awake. Your tweets amused me on the long cold walk home from TheeDragonfly's house! in reply to Twistedlilkitty #
@LucyAnnabel Twitter also lies about when tweets happened. Sometimes it says a brand new tweet is 14mins old and adds 14mins to all of them. in reply to LucyAnnabel #
@Twistedlilkitty So it's true, even girls want to see female game characters naked. I knew it. #ffvii #ff12 in reply to Twistedlilkitty #
Firefox 3.6 is code-named Namoroka, helping support Madagascar’s Namoroka Park, home to the world’s cutest lemurs. http://bit.ly/db46o2 #iyb #
@Georns http://twitpic.com/11rsni – @georns Nah, what you talkin about? You look beautiful! x #
@twistedlilkitty Aw thanks, you've made me smile You're a hottie yourself. #
@comagirlx So, are you a girl with big hinges? Or little perky ones? You're very odd ya'know! Why were you measuring them? #
@twistedlilkitty I've always enjoyed Valentine's Day when I've had a partner. But expect this year will be as tediously lonely as the last. #
@comagirlx "Terri, this is going to take too if I have to explain abbreviations to you, FFS!" #thethickofit #
leyton_jay’s Tweets For Week Ending 2010-02-06: Chillin with Lil'Lorna! #
@misterwakeup01 Does he still think he's… http://bit.ly/9B1xZq #