leytonjay.co.uk

I was excited to discover that the final episode of Family Guy Season 7 will be a 1hr long sequel to the Season 6 Star Wars episode Family Guy: Blue Harvest.

The episode will be titled Something, Something, Something, Dark Side.

Basically Something, Something, Something, Dark Side will be a parody of Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back.

Awesome!

Origins
The title came from a cut-away scene in Family Guy’s season 5 episode, Barely Legal. When The Emperor discovered the formula for perfect Star Wars dialogue:

“Something, something, something dark side.
Something, something, something complete.”

Production
Season 7 of Family Guy will air in the US on the FOX Network on September 28, 2008. Something, Something, Something, Dark Side will be episodes 21 and 22. So, presumably Something, Something, Something, Dark Side will air 21 weeks later on Feb 22nd.

It’s rumoured that Something, Something, Something, Dark Side will air with little or no commercial interruption, presumably lasting a full hour. There has been speculation that Something, Something, Something, Dark Side may be released on DVD just before the TV premiere.

Family Guy and Star Wars

With Seth MacFarlane and many of the other Family Guy writers being Star Wars fans, I have always felt that a sequel to Family Guy: Blue Harvest was inevitable. In an interview with StarWars.com Family Guy Creator Seth MacFaralane said:

“The great thing about Lucasfilm is that they allow people like us to embrace that fandom and have some fun.

The only reason we were able to do ‘Family Guy: Blue Harvest’ is because we have so many writers who know the [Star Wars] films so well they can recite it from start to finish. It’s something that never really leaves people’s heads.”

Hopefully Something, Something, Something, Dark Side will also be officially endorsed by Lucasfilm; George Lucas is a huge fan of Family Guy.

Mort Goldman will appear in Something, Something, Something, Dark Side as Lando Calrissian, I’ve also heard that the Giant Chicken, Peter’s arch-nemesis, will appear as Boba-Fett.

• Something, Something, Something, Dark Side | Wikipedia
• Something, Something, Something, Dark Side | StarWars Wiki
• Something, Something, Something, Dark Side | Family Guy Wiki
• Family Guy: Blue Harvest | Wikipedia
• The Star Wars Franchise | Wikipedia

Family Guy: Something, Something, Something, Dark Side
To be honest as a huge Family Guy fan and a huge Star Wars fan (whose favourite film is still Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back); I’m really excited about this!

What are your comments about Something, Something, Something, Dark Side?

In Doctor Who ‘The Stolen Earth‘ we see that since gate-crashing the time-lock on the First Great Time-War (which even the Doctor claims is impossible) and rescuing Davros from his command ship at the Gates of Elysium, Dalek Caan seems to have gained pre-cognitive powers; but it cost him his mind and his casing.

Davros seems to take Dalek Caan’s cryptic predictions and prophecies as gospel, claiming Caan speaks only the truth. Whilst Davros’ new Dalek Army and it’s commander, the Supreme Dalek, all view Caan as an insane abomination.

Lets take a look at some of Caan’s cryptic babbling;

“…he is coming, the three-fold man he dances in the lonely places; oh creator of us all, the Doctor is coming.”

The Three-Fold Man is a strange way to describe the Doctor. Since the end of the First Great Time-War, two incarnations of the Doctor have faced a Dalek horde.

Assuming the Doctor finishes his regeneration and faces them again, the new Daleks will’ve had their asses whooped en masse by three Doctors; a three-fold man. Unless anyone has any better ideas?

[Davros paraphrases] “…the Children of Time will move against us.”

The Children of Time must surely mean the Doctor’s current and former companions on Earth; Jack Harkness, Sarah-Jane, Martha Jones, Rose Tyler and Donna Noble. Davros inferred this when the sub-wave network was detected.

“…he is here, the Dark Lord is come.”

Dalek Caan squeaked this excitedly when the Doctor synchronised with the Daleks and their 27 stolen planets inside the Medusa Cascade, it must mean the Doctor.

The Daleks have a in-depth knowledge of the Doctor and this exploits; every Dalek knows that every time they have faced the Doctor in battle he has defeated them. He is legend in Dalek folklore if there is such a thing; they call him ‘the Oncoming Storm‘ as well as ‘the Destroyer of Worlds‘.

“…I flew into the wild and fire; I danced and died a thousand times.”

Dalek Caan says this after Davros explains how Caan rescued him from certain death at the Gates of Elysium in the first year of the Time-War. We don’t know what the Gates of Elysium are, but in Greek myth Elysium was the entrance to Hell.

The Doctor saw Davros’ command ship fly into the Nightmare Child (whatever that is? anyone?) at the Gates of Elysium, but now Davros says Caan rescued him from that ship after breaking the time-lock on the war. The wild and fire probably means the battle, conventional weapons (fire) as well as temporal ones (wild); you risk being both killed and erased from existance all-together.

To dance and die a thousand times probably means he was caught in some kind of time-loop, maybe a paradox, endlessly fighting and dying over and over until eventually doing something significant which breaks the loop.

The entire Time-War is time-locked, it is probably too volatile and unstable, too unpredictable to be messed around with for precisely this reason. Transversing this time-rollercoaster is undoubtedly how Dalek Caan lost his mind and how he gained his pre-cognitive powers.

“…death is coming, oh I can see it. Everlasting death for the most faithful companion.”

There has been much speculation about this, who is it? Donna has been told she will die soon, but is she the most faithful? Captain Jack Harkness can never die, everlasting death could mean that he is bound to die over and over again forever.

Some people have said that the Doctor’s most faithful companion is in fact the TARDIS. The TARDIS is telepathic, it has been with him since the beginning, longer than any companion.
The next model up, the Level V TARDIS could assume humanoid form (having a working chameleon circuit) and accompany a Time-Lord as a companion.

Could the Doctor really lose the TARDIS? Then what? What would he do? Could he find one in another dimension? On Rose’s parallel Earth? Could he use salvaged equipment from Torchwood or UNIT? It’d be pretty low-tech for him, he’s scoffed at it previously.

In Torchwood there is a piece of Coral growing on Jack Harkness’ desk. The actor John Barrowman has revealed it is a piece of TARDIS and is 30years old, in 500 years the carving process could begin, but that was just an off-the-cuff remark in an interview for the Radio Times. It is consistent with the concept that TARDISes are grown, not built.

What do you guys think?

The Osterhagen Key is a mysterious device that first appeared in the Doctor Who episode ‘The Stolen Earth‘.

In this post I review the facts, review group speculation on the nature of the Osterhagen Key, define the function of the Osterhagen Key and explain how it was almost used in the Doctor Who episode ‘Journey’s End‘.

Osterhagen Key - Facts:

• The Osterhagen Key is a small, flat, square object.
• The Osterhagen Key was given to Dr Martha Jones by UNIT.
• Former Prime Minister Harriet Jones ordered Martha not to use the Osterhagen Key.
• Osterhagen is a town in Germany near Nurembourg.
• Osterhagen is an anagram of ‘earths gone‘.

Osterhagen Key - Our Speculation:

Contributors to this blog during the week commencing 29 June 2008 suggested 6 main possible meanings to the Osterhagen Key.

• Osterhagen Key could be a component in a time-weapon, similar the Demat Gun in the classic series episode ‘The Invasion of Time‘.
• Osterhagen Key could be a planetary self-destruct mechanism to be used against an unstoppable enemy.
• Osterhagen Key could be a digital storage device used in conjuction with Project Indigo to ‘save‘ the whole of humanity on disk.
• Osterhagen Key could be time-travel/manipulation device.
• Osterhagen Key could unlock the time-locked First Great Time War.
• Osterhagen Key could be related to the Master’s signet-ring.

Those who guessed correctly (or in the right ball-park) were myself, Kelly Hamilton, Berard and Extraho. So many of you had great ideas that were very imaginative, thanks to everyone who entertained me for a full week while we waited for ‘Journey’s End‘.

Osterhagen Key - Definition:

The Osterhagen Key is the arming device for a UNIT created planetary self-destruct mechanism known as the Osterhagen Defense.

When Osterhagen Station 1 (in Osterhagen, Germany) together with any two other Osterhagen stations are armed using Osterhagen Keys, UNIT personnel at Osterhagen Station 1 may detonate a network of 25 nuclear weapons buried deep below the Earth’s crust.

This will result in the destruction of the Earth itself.

The Osterhagen Defense is designed to provide a quick and mercilful death to the global population should the Earth be invaded by a malevolent foe and is without hope of liberation.

The Osterhagen Defense is a tool to prevent humanity’s suffering.

Osterhagen Key - Activation:

In Doctor Who The Stolen Earth‘, the Earth was invaded by the New Dalek Empire; a foe whose superior technology and large numbers meant that humanity’s resistance was futile. In the face of this systematic extermination by the Daleks, UNIT chose to activate the Osterhagen Defense and the Key for Osterhagen Station 1 was given to Dr. Martha Jones.

In the concluding episode ‘Journey’s End‘, Martha JOnes manned Osterhagen Station 1 and was later joined by UNIT Personnel in Osterhagen Stations in China (Osterhagen 5) and Liberia. Martha Jones delayed the detonation of the Osterhagen Defense to give the New Dalek Empire an ultimatum; leave the Earth and it’s people alone or she would destroy the planet.

The Earth had become a crucial part of a planetary alignment matrix that the Dalek’s planned to use to transmit a z-neutrino wave across the Universe, destroying all matter at the sub-atomic level. Had the Earth been destroyed the transmission of the z-neutrinos would’ve been less intense, more unbalanced and generaly much less effective.

Martha Jones was transmatted aboard the Dalek command ship, The Crucible, inorder to prevent her using the Osterhagen Key.

Slightly longer this time but still easy to miss, Rose Tyler appeared yet again on a monitor the Doctor, sadly, wasnt looking at.

Rose Tyler appeared in this week’s episode of Doctor Who ‘Midnight’, again she seems to be mouthing the word ‘Doctor’ trying to communicate with him from parallel Earth, but again, she doesnt seem to be having much luck during her brief window of opportunity.