I’ve just been into town and can you believe that for once my experience at the Bank was better than my experience in Subway?
I went in there and ordered a Sub of The Day. It comes out of the toaster and some guy picks it up, puts it by the salad selection and just looks at me.
I thought ‘ok, not having a good day? Fine.’
“Lettuce, Tomatoes, Pickles and Olives please. Lots of olives please, I like those.”
He puts 3 slices of one olive on it, not even a third of a normal amount.
“No, I would like more olives please, I like them.”
He looks at me, motionless and emotionless before almost imperceptibly shaking his head.
“Can you speak?”
“Yes.”
“And you understand what I’m saying?”
“Yes.”
“Then give me more Olives please.”
“You’re not allowed extra portions for free.”
“That is not even a normal portion, that is 3 pieces of one Olive.”
“You’re not allowed extra portions for free.”
“Then have I have a normal amount please?”
“You’re not allowed extra portions for free.”
I paused, checking to see if I was the one being the arsehole, I wasn’t.
“Get your boss out here, I’m sick of you.”
The boss was already on the case, the queue behind me was already long and is now building up rapidly.
“Yes Sir?”
“Whats this?” (points at Olives)
“Olives.”
By this time I am starting to loose it.
“No, its an Olive, barely. I told this guy I wanted more and he’s given me this much.”
Salad-Guy pipes up again suddenly.
“You’re not allowed extra portions for free.”
“Yeah you’ve said that 4 times now, and I’ve said that that’s not even one portion. If you’re going to be like that, you can make and toast a new one and give me one complete full portion of every item of salad here even the stuff I don’t like and all the sauces and if you then cant close the sub you can make it again. This is an outrage.”
The word outrage rolled off my tongue so effortlessly it almost made me crack a smile. People in the queue now begin to sigh. The manager looks at Salad-Guy in the eye as if to say ‘what the fuck is your problem?’.
“Give the man as many olives as he wants.”
Salad-Guy piles on a load of olives, at least double a normal amount.
“More.
More.
More.”
Salad-Guy sighs.
“More!
More!
And ground pepper!”
I moved to the til with at least 5 times the number of Olives I wanted the whole thing was black with satisfaction.
I looked at the Manager who was now on the til as if to say ‘that guy is a dick’ and he looked back at me as if to say ‘yeah, that guy is a dick’.
I paid him £1.99 for the sub which had about £3 worth of Olives in it and left. It tasted awful but I ate it with a smile.
Leyton Jay Life